Dorset-wide internet service provider Threadbone Narrowband Dialup™ has today agreed, pending further legal advice, to recognise an Ibberton Magistrate’s Court decision ordering the company to “block or make difficult to access” file-sharing sites via its Giggle™ - search engine. One of the most used search engines in the West-Country it has for some time been under pressure to change its algorithms to make illegal download sites - such as the Company's own Great Heaving Bay - harder to find. Whilst most of the major search providers have complied immediately and without reservation with the Ibberton order, Threadbone Narrowband Dialup™ had argued that it was under no legal obligation to do so as the Great Heaving Complex where the Company is registered falls outside the jurisdiction of the court, being a special onshore-offshore tax haven wholly owned by the thrupiece organisation.
Today’s order means that those in search of music or films via “torrents” will find it much harder work. However, a spokesperson for the Company - Tony Much-Buffering - expressed sympathy with the illegal downloaders and said that he hoped normal service on its Great Heaving Bay torrent site would be resumed as soon as possible. Justifying this unusual stance, Mr Much-Buffering added, “We already block so many sites - for example all those in competition with the orinoco company or offering diets other than the thrupiecediet™ - that we are in danger of having nothing to search at all.” Asked if he was concerned that - for example - the thrupiece organisation’s own thrupiecemedia films or Hornimint Records might be losing revenue to the internet pirates, he responded: “Oh Hell yes! We’ve been blocking those torrents for months, we only want to unblock other companies - particularly the ones we don’t care a toss about.”
Threadbone Narrowband Dialup™ supports file sharing via its Great Heaving Bay site and hopes to be back in business soon despite agreeing "temporarily" to abide by an Ibberton Magistrate’s Court decision.