As Spring is very nearly sprung and the holiday season approaches, the Threadbone Corporation has announced the inaugural services of Threadboneair, the new all frills high price luxury airline: the "antidote" to cheap travel. With the tag line "Forget Budget | Think Expensive", the newcomer to our crowded skies makes no (Thread)bones about it: it's old fashioned travel at a price most people can't afford.
Corporation Airline Strategy Spokesperson Ryan Adair was clear at today's launch: "In line with the Threadbone philosophy already evident in our Crown Magna Hotel and Spa Chain, Golf Resorts and Viking Threadbone Luxury Cruises, our airline service is for the rich and discerning only: people who like to avoid contact with the general public when moving from one residence to another. For the same reason we have researched the 200 most popular European destinations and ruled out offering any service to them. Instead we will be flying infrequently from hard to get to airports to places most people have never heard of and couldn't afford to go even if they had. This way we keep our seats and toilets clean and our luggage compartments uncontaminated by cheap imitation travelware." "We even have scanners sensitive enough to detect a Gucci fake and separate it from the real thing", he added.
Offering an exclusive "lounge experience" (prawn cocktail and a schooner of sherry followed by steak and Irish coffee) as well as first-class "Dedbonaire" only cabin services, Threadboneair will operate two Boeing 767s sporting the Corporation's new blue and silver livery as well as the Dorset flag on the aircraft's tail. Designed by inhouse stylist Phillipe de Graff-Ikart, the new livery is already hotly tipped to win the 2017 Threadbone Award for Innovative Aircraft Design. The inaugural service flight will depart from Hurn International Airport for a destination so exclusive that it is yet to be disclosed even to confirmed passengers.
A Threadbone Airways 767 in the Corporation's new blue and silver livery designed by Phillipe de Graff-Ikart
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