Berglare In The Dock!


L'Autorités Suisses were left reeling today and in a state of "incrédulité presque totale" as evidence emerged that debonaire but ageing Commissaire de Police Arsène Berglàre has been relieved of all responsibilities pending an inquiry into allegations that he personally "preuves fabriquées à l'échelle industrielle" ("manufactured evidence on an industrial scale") in the case of Professor Thrupiece and his still unexplained disappearance from a Swiss Hotel bedroom whilst attending the Annual Edna Awards in Geneva in 2004.

Analysis by Threadbone Laboratories (Cryptographic Services Division) Chief Scientist Dr Callie Graphie is said to prove with a 99.99999999% probability that the letter purporting to come from Professor Thrupiece and found only two days ago under a bed he once occupied in 2004 was written in debonaire but ageing Commissaire de Police Arsene Berglàre's own hand. Commissaire Berglàre denies the charges but was unavailable for comment.

L'Autorités Suisses-watcher Sue Wyss-Wotzjcher (née Sue Gutten-Tag-Heuer) who is currently undertaking an extended educational tour of the basement of the Strafanstalt Pöschwies, Swizerland's best-known maximum security facility was also unavailable for comment but close friend and occasional sperm donor René Louche told Sydling St Nicholas's crack investigative team that he believes that Commissaire Berglàre panicked at the lack of progress in the case and (with elections pending) grabbed for the quickest and easiest solution. "Il n'est pas un homme diabolique, juste une merde incompétente trop payée qui a dépassé sa date de péremption", he added.


The Sydling St Nicholas Sun's crack team of reporters are confident of  debonaire but ageing Commissaire de Police Arsene Berglàre's guilt though the case has yet to be brought before L'autre Autorités Suisses (Ministère de la Justice).

The Sydling St Nicholas Sun's crack team of reporters are confident of debonaire but ageing Commissaire de Police Arsene Berglàre's guilt though the case has yet to be brought before L'autre Autorités Suisses (Ministère de la Justice).

Meanwhile Threadbone Laboratory scientists are confident that their analysis will prove conclusive if a case is ever brought against the debonaire but ageing Commissaire. "We are confident that our analysis will prove conclusive if a case is ever brought against the debonaire but ageing Commissaire", Ms Graphie said. "Like the Mounties - but unlike L'Autorités Suisses - we always get our man!", she added.

To see the evidence in full CLICK on the image BELOW or the link HERE


A full report from The Threadbone Laboratories Cryptographic Service Division was commissioned only yesterday by the thrupieceorganisation allegedly on the direct orders of Mrs Threadbone herself. Mrs Threadbone has always taken a protective interest in the case of the Professor and is eager to ensure that the truth "however painful" comes out eventually.

Ms Shelley-Lulette Sizemore - possibly the last person to have seen the Professor before his disappearance from the Hotel Cornavin was said to be "shocked and distressed" at the recent turn of events, Friends say it has "quite spoilt" her book tour of the Maldives and the Caribbean.


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