Burying the Hatchet


In a gesture dubbed "surprisingly gentlemanly" and a response described as "even more surprisingly ladylike", Mrs Shirley Knott-Anotha has accepted an invitation from Mutilations R'Us tattoo parlour proprietor Harley Threadbike to meet and chat with customers during today's "Tyneham Is Open For Business Days" Campaign. The Campaign designed to "fire up the engines of Tyneham's faltering economy" is into its second day and - according to Chamber of Commerce Chair, Mrs Marnie Küre [née Offers], of Marnie's Nails & Stuff, No 6 The High Street" - "in full swing". Retailers and service providers in the CONTRIK-69 ravaged town are looking to find innovative ways of bringing the public back to its High Street amid fears that another 16 years of pandemic-related restrictions may see several businesses go under.


Described as something of a rapprochement [though not by either of the two parties directly involved] the reunion of tattoo artiste and disaffected client follows a long standoff between the two, during which neither has agreed to shoulder responsibility for the "mistake", nor negotiate a reasonable compensation package, following an inking that "went wrong".

SECOND TRY: Tyneham tatooist Mr Threadbike says he carried out a successful modification of the original tattoo creating, he believes, a very reasonable facsimile of the late Roy Orbison.

Mr Threadbike has always maintained that former friend and parlour assistant Mrs Knott-Anotha was a big fan of the once-popular American novelty act Sonny and Cher and had asked for something of the spirit of their humorous stage personas to emerge in the Roy Orbison tattoo he had designed for her. For her part, Mrs Knott-Anotha insists that Mr Threadbike inflicted instead "someone he could do" on "someone he was doing". Clearly displeased with the result, Mrs Knott-Anotha insisted on a modification - which Mr Threadbike duly undertook. But she was not pleased with the result. The two have been at loggerheads ever since.


However, in breakthrough talks late last night - brokered by "Tyneham Is Open For Business Days" Campaign Deputy, Councillor Letts Sortit - both Mr Threadbike and Mrs Knott-Anotha agreed to appear in the parlour at 3pm today to "bury the hatchet" and jointly promote the town's enterprise initiative. It isn't yet clear whether the disputed tattoo which is said to be "in an interesting place" will be on display to the public.


Meanwhile Mr Threadbike is preparing a celebratory tattoo which he hopes Shirley - who already has "more tattoos than a military festival" - will accept as a gift. "I think she'll see where I'm coming from", he said, "well I hope so. It seems appropriate and I know just where I'm going to put it".


PEACE OFFERING: "I'd considered a floral bouquet but this seemed more on the money", Mr Threadbike said.


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