The Bio-Ethicist's Apprentice: Real Men Eat Fluff is the latest in a line of blockbusters emanating from thrupiecefilm's busy Great Heaving Studios. Starring Alec Baldy as Professor Brian Thrupiece and Jason Stourpaine as "apprentice" Royston Binstock, the film is a Harvey Weinbar production based on a fantasy novel by Rowena Westlake protegé - Wenora Kastelew.
Since the Professor and the Deputy Chair of the Threadbone Corporation almost certainly never met in real life [Mr Binstock is considered by many to be the creature of, and possible eventual successor to, Mrs Amanda J Threadbone rather than Professor Thrupiece himself] the novel and the film represent "something of a stretch" when it comes to historical verisimilitude and critics have voiced doubts as to whether anyone even remotely familiar with the Professor's life ["and who isn't" Bradpole Bugle and Courier] will be able to suspend belief sufficiently to accept the biopic's basic premise that the two men met in Lucerne in August 2010 and that during an intense four day coaching session, the "missing presumed disappeared" master revealed all to his willing pupil.
"The plot line line, which departs from the novel only in so far as the immortal line "Don't forget to check your nasal clippers" is allocated to Ms Shelley-Lulette Sizemore [Kiera Twyce-Nitely] rather than Mrs Edna Whisky McNightly [Judi Bench-Presse] is certainly something of a stretch and purists won't be best pleased" says Dorset Film Monthly's P. Anna Vischon, "but since the line was probably never uttered by anyone, most film-goers won't care and simplifying in this way has probably trimmed 50 minutes from its length and £200 million off the budget". In any event, the makers will be hoping the draw of a starry cast will overcome any misgivings with regard to plot, credibility, continuity, production values and acting. The Studland Sentinel has given it a ** rating ["less than magical"], whilst Rotten Pomegranites scores it at 12%.
Threadbone Cinemas have placed it in all 40 of it's Dorset venues and expects business to be brisk when it opens tonight.
The film is the first to be produced by Harvey Weinbar since his "altercation" with local authorities over his alleged attacks on female traffic wardens. An object of scorn and focus of the "Why not me too" Campaign, multi-millionaire Mr Weinbar reignited controversy recently when accused of verbally undressing a female motorist whose threshold he had invaded with his notoriously large "Rover". Asked if he had knowingly penetrated her personal space he responded "First she's not my type, second its not true. Not true. And third she wouldn't be my first choice".
The Bio-Ethicist's Apprentice: Real Men Eat Fluff is rated PG.