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Sorry We're Closed

Writer's picture: Professor Brian ThrupieceProfessor Brian Thrupiece

Lock-Down. The Great Heaving Complex is closed until Friday 27 December 2019. Only 700 security staff are working full time.

Offices throughout the Great Heaving Science, Technology, Business, Arts and Social Engineering Complex will be closed today and will not reopen until Friday 27th December. Whilst we apologise to anyone adversely affected by this unprecedented closure, we also salute the humanity, generosity and warmth of spirit which characterises President, CEO, CIO and Executive Chair Mrs Amanda J Threadbone's visionary philanthropy and which has made this closure possible.


Staff at all levels will return to their endeavours renewed, invigorated and above all eternally grateful to our far-sighted and inspirational leader.


Dictated and signed in her absence by


Mrs Amanda J Threadbone

Serial Dorset Businesswoman of the Year


[Mrs Threadbone and companion Enrique de los Chicos Perdidod are in Tenerife until 23rd January. Please address all correspondence to Mr Royston Binstock Acting Temporary CEO.]


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The Threadbone Corporation (AJTCorps)

The Mall

Great Heaving

West Lulworth, UK

Tel: +44 (0)1929 400000

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DISCLAIMER: Though it will be perfectly obvious that the absurd world of Professor Thrupiece and his corporate affairs is no more nor less than the product of a fevered brain, it is clearly affirmed here that any resemblance to actual persons, organisations or events is purely coincidental and that no slight or injury of any kind is intended to any person alive, dead or yet to be born.

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