Offices throughout the Great Heaving Science, Technology, Business, Arts and Social Engineering Complex will be closed today and will not reopen until Friday 27th December. Whilst we apologise to anyone adversely affected by this unprecedented closure, we also salute the humanity, generosity and warmth of spirit which characterises President, CEO, CIO and Executive Chair Mrs Amanda J Threadbone's visionary philanthropy and which has made this closure possible.
Staff at all levels will return to their endeavours renewed, invigorated and above all eternally grateful to our far-sighted and inspirational leader.
Dictated and signed in her absence by
Mrs Amanda J Threadbone
Serial Dorset Businesswoman of the Year
[Mrs Threadbone and companion Enrique de los Chicos Perdidod are in Tenerife until 23rd January. Please address all correspondence to Mr Royston Binstock Acting Temporary CEO.]