Our thanks go to Spy Bott for alerting us to the fact that a recent tweet from solitary celebrity watcher Ona Nism insists there has been unusual activity in the Ziggy Osmington camp. Mr Nism [#holdingmyown] - a shadowy figure who harbours ambitions to found a small group of likeminded celebrity watchers - reportedly spends much of his time alone in his back bedroom yearning for a handful of members. He is, however, regarded as a generally reliable source of pop-related info given his more or less constant probing into the more recherché crannies of the dark boyband web.
Mr Osmington meanwhile has been quiet of late and was even reported to have retired following multiple joint-replacement operations, periods of rehabilitation and well-documented evidence of failings in the "vocal and mental faculties departments". During his last onstage appearances, he frequently forgot not only the lyrics and the tunes to his greatest hits, but became confused about the direction in which the audience was seated. According to the Dorset Musical Times, he spent half of the open-air "gig" at Chilfrome addressing the rear tent-support rigging and occasionally asking other band members why the tall guy he was singing to was so unresponsive. ["It didn't, however, prevent him from asking a steel crossbar and a small piece of lighting rig back for a post-party threesome".]
So news that he has been back in the studio to record a Christmas album is both a shock and a worry. He was joined - say Hornimint Executives - by the surviving Boners augmented by a 12 piece orchestra which included a piccolo, french horn, ocarina and harp as well as the usual tuba, glockenspiel, banjo and crumhorn. Rumours that one of the Belle-Ends also joined in the proceedings have neither been confirmed nor denied and Mr Osmington himself is, of course, unreliable on the subject, being unsure whether he was even present himself. The pick-up mixed celebrity band will be credited as The Snowflakes*.
* Probably a coincidence or an attempt at a Christmas-themed band, however ...
From Bonipedia we learn: Snowflake is a 2010s derogatory slang term for a person, implying that they have an inflated sense of uniqueness, an unwarranted sense of entitlement, or are overly-emotional, easily offended, and unable to deal with opposing opinions. [Ed]
Mr Nism further tweets that in two 6 hour sessions the band managed to lay down the backing track for former Belle-End Norbert "Nobby" Knight's arrangement of Adolphe Adam's "Oh Holy Night". "Only the vocals need to be added", wherein the sceptical might say, the problem probably lies... More a case of Holy Crap than Holy Night?
