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BRIAN STORM PI
Some have claimed that Brian Storm was the real life inspiration for Doug Graves's Peter Stormforce; a ludicrous suggestion given that the novel appeared decades before Brian Storm was born.
Brian Storm, Founder, Managing Director and Chief Investigator of the Brian Storm Agency is a seasoned professional with the widest experience of fighting crime county-wide and a skill-set perfectly attuned to the needs of private citizens frustrated by [or seeking to place under scrutiny] failures in the conventional police sector. [RDC a speciality.] Brian recently tracked down a missing orinoco store parcel, the non-delivery of which the RDC had repeatedly refused to take seriously, despite its street value of nearly £8.45p.
Following a notably active career in the Royal Dorset Constabulary [Back Desk Division] - during which he rose to the rank of Detective Inspector, was mentioned in dispatches 12 times and eventually recognised by the award of a Sir Rising Crimewave Silver Lapel Badge for his services to CONTRIK-69 "Kettling" - Brian founded the Brian Storm Agency. with the general public's wellbeing at the absolute forefront of what remains of his mind.
Spotting a "much-needed gap in the market" - somewhere between door-to-door household harassment, indoor benchmark-standard form-filling and full-blown tactical anti-terrorist assault manouevres [advisory], Brian offers clients a variety of services from stalking errant husbands through petty embezzlement to unlawful killing [desktop study only]. In fact for a fee, "the Agency will do almost anything within reason and, for a higher fee, anything at all". Believing that ethics should be left where they belong [preferably at the doorstep]. Brian and his team will do whatever it takes to get their man, woman of gender-fluid person in less time than it would take the RDC to log the crime and claim the overtime. use the latest surveillance technologies [including mobile phones] to further their sole aim of catching the culprit [animal, vegetable or mineral] before he/she/it can strike again.
Competitive daily rates are available as well as advanced fee loans [courtesy the WMSHRLS [Whisky-McNightly Securities' House Re-mortgage Loans Scheme]]. Please do not ask for FIXED PRICE deals as a refusal often offends.
Intending clients should know that whilst guarantees satisfaction or your money back, funds may take up to 12 years to return and, in the interim, you may not be protected from facing criminal or civil charges related to your or our activities before, during or after our employment.
"Brian was very friendly and helpful - right up until the time it came to the question of a refund"
Mrs AJT, DORSET
"He found my cat in less than three weeks - not admittedly still alive - but at least I now have him stuffed [the cat that is]. I would never have thought to look in the dustbin"
"I asked him to follow my husband to see what he was up to. He tracked him to the pub where they became good friends. They remain drinking companions to this day, though I have no idea what they both get up to"
Mrs Melvyn Scoops, Symondsbury
"I had suspicions that my neighbour was stealing my petunias and used to try and observe them through the window. Brian soon put my mind at rest by closing the curtains".
A Lokdoune-Suffra, Canford Cliffs
"He lives up to the highest traditions of the RDC and, simultaneously, down to the standards we have come to expect from the crime-fighting community".
Ms Noodles Goodbody, NFA
"Ihave no idea how he does it or, come to think of it, what he does. But he is reassuringly expensive".
R*****n B******k, Great Heaving
Recent Customer Endorsements
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Just some of our less dissatisfied clients
Discretion guaranteed. We undertake to respect your privacy, maintain your anonymity, treat everything you tell us with complete confidentiality and to disclose any information we gather only to interested parties, high bidders or certain tabloid newspapers of choice.
Any photography we undertake on your behalf is charged as an extra. Photographs of naked husbands caught in the act are charged at premium rate. Photographs of naked wives cheating are provided at minimum cost though negatives are retained for private circulation and enjoyment.
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