Suspicion that all is not well with quality-control at professorthrupiece.com was reinforced today by suggestions that the normally fastidious digital news and comment portal has yet again been subject to a hoax. Following pimp-my-bus-gate and a thorough forensic investigation and clean-up by Threadbone Forensic Reconstructions [TFR] Ltd, parent company The Threadbone Corporation had been confident that its new and especially customized one-size fits all algorithms were set to "highly alert" - the industry standard setting designed to sniff out anything dodgy, off-colour or just plain wrong.
Evidence of a further breach came yesterday, however, in the form of a Dorset Radio Times cover submitted to the news-gatherer by a Mrs Hoarde, wife of Mr Ivor Hoarde of Milborne St Andrew. [Do none of these names ever ring alarm bells? [Ed].]. Said to have been found amongst a pile of more or less innocuous publications retrieved from the couple's loft, the radio and tv listings magazine was declared unique in that no other copy of it had ever been seen or known to be in existence. "Surely that fact alone should have raised doubts", says long-time and generally trusting reader Norma Lee-Trusting who confesses that suspicions were raised in her own mind by the "unusual" photograph of Professor Thrupiece on the cover.
"I found it very hard to believe that a man who is idolised by millions and has a particularly strong following amongst thinking females would want to present himself either a cross-dresser or the type given to undermining their own masculinity by a bad choice of chaise-longue - however close to Norman Hartbonewell he was at the time. For me that was an absolute giveaway. I think he would have chosen an upright armchair and possibly favoured a pipe over a wig if he wanted to add that ever-so-fetching roué touch which made so many women swoon and so many more run for the hills."
Further research undertaken by staff at professorthrupiece.com, shows just how "on-the-money" Ms Lee-Trusting actually is. professorthrupiece.com archivist Mustbee Somwear says it was "but the work of a moment" to find the relevant issues of Dorset Radio Times in the Great Heaving Public Library and to expose the Milborne St Andrew fraud for what it is: a blatant attempt to put the Professor in a bad light and spread an "off-colour" image of him in the hope of discrediting him and his ideas just as his theories about the CONTRIK-69 conspiracy are gaining traction amongst the general public.*
* Professor Brian Thrupiece [1987] "Coronabyn viruses, global lock-down, civilian rights and the role of pseudo-science in mass intimidation: a future scenario", Dorset Journal of Bio-Futurology Vol XXXV
In the meantime, no one at professorthrupiece.com was available for comment, though a staff member on a "very low pay grade" said she was "pretty sure they will publish something on the matter soon - maybe as early as today".
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