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Programme Error

Reports that more than 10,000 copies of the Dorset Royal Opera's lavish programme for its indefinitely delayed new production of Mozart's Così fan Tutte have gone to landfill were strenuously denied today by the company's Artistic Director Curt Aynuppe. Normally retailing at a whacking £35 the award-winning programmes are considered collectors items by many opera-goers, largely because, having forked out a small fortune for one, purchasers tend to keep them - often in their lofts [See a recent article on the subject of magazines, collectibles, lofts and connubial embarrassment [HERE].]

The Programme currently in the eye of the storm - collectors say it may become valuable despite the fact that the production it commemorates will almost certainly never happen.

As set out in yesterday's well-sourced world exclusive, CONTRIK-69 restrictions have seriously compromised the DRO's ability to mount even a semblance of a season and amongst the early artistic casualties of the government-designed, local authority-sanctioned and state police-enforced paralysis, Così is by far the most significant, thanks to its particularly high profile and unusually large budget. It is the latest and perhaps most perplexing brainchild of Poxwell CFE-trained Chinese-French wunderkind and avant garde director, Wun de Kinde. Mr de Kinde's previous efforts for the Company have led some to suggest that the cancellation of Così is "a marvellous example of God's grace", though Dorset Arts Council Chair and DHRA Public Enemy No 1 - Avant Guarde - says the much misunderstood and widely reviled director deserves another chance to win over traditionally conservative opera audiences. "Whilst it's true that his previous 18 attempts to modernise and make relevant the timeless classics we all know and normally love have been abject failures in every conceivable way, everyone deserves a 19th chance. Here at the Dorset Arts Council we are committed to a policy of supporting artistic failure provided it's the right kind of failure, which is to say, failure by people whose social and political views we respect and share."

Meanwhile, Frome St Quentin's Director of Waste Disposal, Refuse Management and Industrial Recycling says that an unusually large consignment of paper-waste was delivered to the local council's eco-recovery unit [the former Threadbone Mining Company’s frangible asbestos quarry] but declined to specify either its content or its origin. "I can say only that glossy booklets are involved and that they come from a prestige institution - possibly one that rhymes with Corset Toil Stoppa".

Some of Dorset Royal Opera's previous Wun de Kinde productions have sold so badly that unsold programmes have had to be recycled as prestige gift sets.

WIN A PRESENTATION PROGRAMME GIFT SET has joined forces with the Dorset Royal Opera to offer every reader the opportunity to win an official framed souvenir programme collection worth more than £25.

For your chance to win, simply answer the following question and send your answers on a postcard to: Dorset Royal Opera House Official Framed Souvenir Programme Collection Competition, PO Box 93, Competitions House, Great Heaving by 5pm on Friday 29th January. For competition rules visit

[PLEASE NOTE: Opera Mask and Opera Glasses not included but available for purchase separately or as part of a complete Dorset Royal Opera Luxury Gift Set. Details available on request.]

QUESTION: Which opera - hitherto considered indestructible - did director Wun de Kind most comprehensively f**k-up in the Dorset Royal Opera House's 2017-2018 season? [a] Hello Dolly [b] l'Incoronazione di Amanda [c] Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band.

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