West End Invasion!
Entertainment conglomerate thrupiecemedia today announced a bold and decisive move into the theatre scene by acquiring a controlling interest in the Nearly Useless Theatre Group. The new venture (the Truly Useless Company) will, claims thrupiecemedia chair Louis B Threadbone, bring state-of-the-art cinema production values to "the crusty and jaded world of the West End theatre".
Rumour has it that TUC will launch in the newly refurbished Savaloy Theatre with a brand new musical based on life in a small Norfolk seaside town. With music by Addinsell Threadbone and words by Tim Rice-Crispie, the newly commissioned piece (working title Hunstanton!) will push the boundaries of conventional musical theatre by featuring fully-clad heterosexual dancing choreographed by American avant-gardiste Thwyla Twarp.
Dorset-based Board member Edna Whisky-McNightly defended the decision to base a stage musical in Norfolk rather than the more obviously cosmopolitan Dorset, adding "When it comes to drink, drugs, sexual perversion and explicit heterosexual dancing, one small seaside town is much like another".