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Threadbone Corporation Reacts To Criticism Of Its "Sexist" Publicity

Reacting with corporate swiftness to stinging accusations of inappropriately gender-influenced advertising in connection with its stringbonefellows adult club chain, Threadbone Leisure has today announced plans to "add balance to their promotional materials" for the popular West Dorset nitespot™ outlets. Group Chair and CEO Mrs Amanda J Threadbone said in a press statement released Friday that "though we reject absolutely recent accusations [of gender bias and female symbolic exploitation] and do not recognise in any shape or form the flawed principles upon which our critics' misleading and unwarranted attacks are based, we have decided of our own volition and under absolutely no pressure from our sponsors to make changes which will more accurately reflect the image of our outlets as we ourselves would wish them to be perceived." Asked when the changes were likely to take place, a spokesperson for Threadbone Leisure, Drusilla Parker-Knowles (nee Likhtarovich) said "as soon as we reasonably can. We are, however, having difficulty sourcing male materials of the right kind - something to do with size and regulations regarding items passing through the Royal Mails". Ms Parker-Knowles (48-28-36) is 32 on New Year's Eve.

One of the proposed "balancing" male symbols.

TOP: one of the "offending" symbols to which protesters have taken such exception; BELOW: the Threadbone Corporation's answer - "a symbol that captures the male in all the rich panoply of his masculine responsibilities".

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