Ms Badminton-Court Speaks

Ever since the controversy of Tablegate aka Badminton-Courtgate made headline news, the voice most observers wanted to hear was that of Ms Audrey Badminton-Court whose "contribution" to the formulation and elaboration of the eponymous Thrupiece Tables has been at the heart of the matter.

Thus far the first female member of the RSCBE and former Pro-Vice Chancellor of the University of Okeford Fitzpaine has been notably silent, avoiding all publicity and continuing to enjoy the quiet life she now pursues with long-time companion Celia Notso-Ponty. However, urged by corporate might of the thrupiece organisation together with the Threadbone Corporation to make a definitive statement, Ms Badminton-Court appeared yesterday before a bevy of expectant reporters.

In a firm but occasionally hesitant voice the former Master of the Royal Dorset Mint answered questions directly, occasionally accepting a proffered glass of water from Ms Notso-Pointy. On the matter of the Tables - on which so much hangs - she was clear: "The Professor and I often discussed tables: he was fond of the oak six seater in his dining room, though I preferred the informality of the walnut occasional table he kept next to his armchair by the fire. In the end we agreed to disagree." Pressed further, Ms Badminton-Court expressed surprise that their differing views on the merits of furniture was of such interest, asked for a custard cream and, finding none was available, pleaded exhaustion. Ms Badminton-Court is 80.

Ms Badminton-Court and Ms Notso-Pointy leaving the Press Conference yesterday; Inset: Earlier Days: Ms Notso-Pointy and Ms Badminton-Court with friends at Lyme Regis in 1958.