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Threadbone Corporation Appeals to the Past to Secure the Future

Once a familiar sight in restaurant windows the length and breadth of Dorset, the "Luncheon Vouchers Accepted Here" sign seemed to be a thing of the past. No doubt social historians of the future will ponder the reason why this once popular scheme appears to have fallen in to disuse: changing government policy, modern eating habits, the rise of food snobbery? These and other causes will doubtless be advanced; but has the death knell of the luncheon voucher been sounded too soon?

Threadbone Corporation insiders have today revealed that following successful negotiations between the corporate giant's HR team and worker representatives at a much delayed "Have Your Say" meeting have resulted in a revival of the scheme, though in modified form. Threadbone Corporation employees had been dismayed by the sharp rise in snack and other meal prices in the many comestibles facilities dotted around the Great Heaving Complex - rises announced to employees in the Corporation's January "Great Heavings" Newsletter - which, some say, are way out of line with current inflation. The Company had cited a sharp upward trend in the wholesale costs of goods sourced from outside the region in the wake of stalled Drexit negotiations. The negotiations, led by former East Orchard Drexit supremo Sir Ivor Notherjob-Togo-To, followed from the surprise East Orchard Referendum result.

In what Threadbone Corporation spokesperson Ian Smoothe-Patter described as "a gesture the workers will understand" the company has revived its old luncheon voucher scheme and will offer it to workers on the following terms

  • a maximum of 2 x £1.50 vouchers can be used in any one meal purchase, any overspend must be paid in cash

  • workers will be required to accept their allocation of 10 vouchers per week whether they use them or not

  • vouchers can only be used for the purchase of thrupiecediet™ products

  • in return for their vouchers £15 will be deducted from their weekly wages

  • the compulsory scheme will coast £150 per year to join (this covers administrative costs)

Speaking for the employees, Dave Thickie described the outcome of the negotiations as "a triumph of good sense and one-in-the-eye for the company". Stepping into his Aston Martin DB6, a smiling Ian Smoothe-Patter declined to comment further.

The Threadbone Corporation's new Luncheon Voucher Scheme may signal the revival of a great tradition

The Threadbone Corporation's new Luncheon Voucher Scheme may signal the revival of a great tradition.

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