Sources close to the Advertising Standards Division of Dorset Trading Standards today disclosed that the authority was "looking into several complaints received since the launch of a new advertising campaign by a Dorset-based enterprise". Investigative journalists from the staff of the Stoborough Green Bugle and Post first broke the story which concerns risqué promotional materials used by the Threadbone Corporation as part of their multi-pound launch of Threadboneless, a new product line in the thrupiecediet range.
Aiming for the "bored housewife or possibly over-taxed female professional" the new range of quality fruit-based comestibles is part of a sustained attempt by the corporative giant to maintain its position in the lucrative diet and fitness markets. It follows major campaigns to boost sales of the recently redesigned and reintroduced thrupiecediet home-manufacturing kit the Thrupiece Roto-matic Food Processor as well as the addition of several new "post-Drexit" flavours to the range of Thrupiece diet sweet and savoury discs (including Bulldog Beef, White Cliffs of Dover Whip and Dorchester Damson flavours).
Defending the recent Campaign, Threadbone Corporation Public Relations advisor Watchmi Lipps said the new "Once Daily and Twice Nightly" new advertising campaign was "unashamedly modern, edgy, cutting edge and - yes - to some overtly "sexy", whatever that means" adding "there's nothing wrong with making a woman feel that a healthy intake of fruit will add to her sex appeal. Vegetarianism and its post-digestive aeolian implications has had a bad press and our new odourless, tasteless and textureless Threadboneless range addresses all of these issues and so makes dieting sexy all over again. We do not claim that any of our products have aphrodisiac properties and nothing in the Campaign implies they do, though anecdotally and between you and me, my wife's been on it for a fortnight and now goes like a train. I am well pleased. "
The organisation has been given leeway to continue with the campaign pending the outcome of the Dorset Trading Standards investigation.
In the best possible taste: that advertisement (as it appeared in the Kingston Russell Evening News 6 March 1017