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Dangerous Books, Dangerous Times

Writer: Professor Brian ThrupieceProfessor Brian Thrupiece

Police were on high alert today as undercover operations revealed a plot to target branches of Threadstone's - the well-known quality High Street book retailer - during the promotional tour to be undertaken by Shelley Lulette-Sizemore whose book Scene of the Crime goes on sale on Monday.

Ms Sizemore is due to appear at signings at more than 20 branches of the store including those at Bloxworth, Cripplestyle, Dorchester, East Stour, Frome Vauchurch, Gussage St. Michael, Hinton Martell, Littlemoor, Nottington, Over Compton, Plush, Ryme Intrinseca, Shillingstone, Tarrant Rushton, Thorncombe, Up Sydling, Verwood, West Chelborough and Worgret.

Publishers - The Threadbone Press - have high hopes for the book which has pre-sold more than a dozen copies through their on online retail digital download portal partner orinoco. A spokesperson for their Promotional Book Signing Division, Margaret Stackem-High said "We have high hopes for the book which has pre-sold more than a dozen copies through our on online retail digital download portal partner orinoco" whilst Verwood Special Branch Undercover Police Sergeant - Sgt Rory Undercover - said "We will do everything in our power to make sure that the tour goes ahead as planned and that public safety is not compromised. If that means smuggling Ms Sizemore into stores disguised as a bin bag then so be it. We have plenty of bin bags including very nice purple ones with the Verwood Special Branch Undercover Unit logo on them. In all likelihood - if push comes to shove - we would deploy them in an active fashion". Sergeant Undercover retires on Monday to take up a post with Whisky-McNightly Security Ltd.

Purbech Police issued a special warning to Mr and Mrs Harper Carper, recently arrested for disturbances in Great Heaving, whilst an order excluding them from anywhere within 1 mile of any branch of the Threadstone's store was authorised by Fraume Vauchurch Magistrates' Chair (Mrs Amanda J Threadbone). Mr and Mrs Harper Carper were also cautioned that "possession of a purple bin bag carrying a Verwood Special Branch Undercover Unit logo would be likely to be judged an aggravated breach of their recent conditional release order".

Visit THE THREADSTONES website HERE


Threadstone's Frome Vauchurch: just one of several branches under potential threat of disruption during the Shelley-Lulette Sizemore Promotional Tour

Threadstone's: "Quality Books from a Quality Store"

Threadstone's Frome Vauchurch: just one of several branches under potential threat of disruption during the Shelley-Lulette Sizemore Promotional Tour. Police were said to be "relaxed" yesterday having drafted in more than 2,000 auxiliary officers and cancelled all leave in expectation of protests by "up to half a dozen determined anti-Brianists".


 
 
 

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The Threadbone Corporation (AJTCorps)

The Mall

Great Heaving

West Lulworth, UK

Tel: +44 (0)1929 400000

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DISCLAIMER: Though it will be perfectly obvious that the absurd world of Professor Thrupiece and his corporate affairs is no more nor less than the product of a fevered brain, it is clearly affirmed here that any resemblance to actual persons, organisations or events is purely coincidental and that no slight or injury of any kind is intended to any person alive, dead or yet to be born.

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