According to reports in the Stoke Wake Morning Tribune, a couple were arrested yesterday "on suspicion of serving a fake product". Mrs & Mrs Greezee-Spoonne were said to have knowingly offered guests at their roadside restaurant an unauthorised version of the Tracey Breakfast which was recently given the Threadbone Laboratories' Seal of Excellence and is set to become a county-wide dietary hit.
Speaking off the record Inspector Kit Chen of the Dorset Anti-Food Terrorism Unit described the fake as "clever enough to fool the gullible but not good enough to fool my specially trained officers". "Evidence will be introduced into court", he continued, "which will prove beyond doubt that though the breakfast contained the right types of ingredient, the geography of the plate was seriously awry." "To the trained eye it was obvious", added Threadbone Laboratories forensic expert, Pytrie Dishe, "the sausage was in entirely the wrong place and displaced the baked beans by more than a centimetre. We notice these things. It's our job". Inspector Chen later confirmed that prosecution was inevitable: "it is not only a matter of standards and of upholding copyright protection, but of public safety. Inaccurate placing of the constituent items leads to a mis-sequencing in both the ingestion and digestion phases of consumption: and you mess with that at your peril. This was a callous act undertaken for profit and without regard for public safety".
Mr and Mrs Greezee-Spoonne were unavailable for comment but their tearful daughter Porridge said "The family are devastated: we thought we were just offering a full English breakfast and after all it's their first known offence." She later admitted they had once served the beans "unconfined" (ie without ramekin) a statement in which the Dorset Anti-Food Terrorism Unit was said to be "taking an interest". Enquiries continue.
A clever crime: The authentic Breakfast (RIGHT] and the dastardly and dangerous fake [LEFT]. Note the misplaced sausage and the displaced bean ramekin of the fake.