Sighting Of Couple Of "Unequal Age" Gives Hope
As fears continue to mount for the wellbeing of Dorset entrepreneur and Business Woman of the Year - Mrs Amanda J Threadbone - of whom a definitive sighting has not been confirmed since July I8th, solace came in the form of a rumour that she has been staying recently at The Cliffside Arms (Curgurrell) - a small hotel in the Crown Magna Hotel and Spa chain.
Reporters for the Bodmin Bugle and Weekly Crier were given an anonymous tip off by the Cornish hotel's Spanish Manager, Mr Romain Anon-y-Maus, who said that a couple of unequal age with "lots of baggage" had registered on 8th August and were, as far as he was aware "still in their rooms". Given exclusive access to the Hotel Register, the Bodmin Bugle and Weekly Crier's crack investigative team identified the names as those of an Adanma Beadthrone (Mrs) and Emanul da Raccunio-Malpas. This was enough, according to Threadbone watcher and Corporation enthusiast Miss Edie Sadd-Anorak "to give us all hope".
In mid July, Mrs Threadbone was similarly reported to be "on holiday"; on this occasion in Greece with her new PA and Personal Fitness Trainer Manuel da Curación-Palmas. Doubt was cast over the veracity of the report, however, with a suggestion emanating from several quarters that the Mediterranean story was merely a Threadbone Corporation rouse designed to settle the markets which had plunged alarmingly following suggestions that the ageing lynchpin of the thrupieceorganisation was in poor health. Since then little or nothing has been heard of the couple, whilst Mrs Threadbone has missed a significant number of corporate events at which her attendance is usually a matter of course.
Threadbone Corporation spokesperson Ellie Direction declined to comment on the Cornish report: "We don't comment on stories or articles appearing in the foreign press" Miss DIrection said, "if we have anything to say we have plenty of organs of our own through which to blow our trumpet".
Mrs Threadbone's legion of admirers will be hoping that reports of her residence at the Cliffside Arms Hotel are proven authoritative. TOP LEFT the 5* Clifton Hotel located on the Cornish Riviera (all enquiries re bookings to firstname.lastname@example.org), TOP RIGHT a picture of the couple according to the Bodmin Bugle and Weekly Crier (unquestionably inauthentic - according to friends "Mr Manuel da Curación-Palmas would need a much bigger chair to hide his distinctive attributes"), BOTTOM LEFT: The Hotel Register, BOTTOM RIGHT: a Threadbone Laboratories super digital enlargement. Handwriting experts have yet to confirm whether the cunningly disguised signatures belong to Mrs Threadbone and her companion.