Dorset's "royal" couple - former Stringbonefellow's co-owner "Prince" Humphrey Whisky-McNightly and his recently-unveiled bride-to-be former French-Canadian porn star Renault Megan - continued to attract hysterical attention yesterday as the celebrity couple made an unexpected appearance at Radio Langton Matravers' Youth facility on the Threadbone Park Trading Estate near Fontmell Magna. The "paire de notre journée"* appeared relaxed as they spent more than 10 minutes staring incomprehensibly at the antics of the younger generation whose creativity a spokesperson said "inspired them beyond expression". Ms Megan's interest in males of the younger generation is legendary whilst her fiancé is, according to reports "no stranger to young women" (see "Nightclub Owner Vows to Defend Himself in Court" Gussage St. Michael Evening Standard, 15 March 1968)
The couple's wedding later this year - ranked as the social event of 2018 - will be attended by amongst others the groom's second cousin Mrs Edna Whisky-McNightly, family friend Mrs Amanda J Threadbone, and celebrity authoress and style-guru Shelley-Lulette Sizemore as well as best-man (and former Spanish boy scout) Enrique. Ms Megan's guests will include former professional partner Toby Alwez-Harde, aka the "French Canadian Bushwacker" .
Readers will need no reminding that the couple met over six months ago when they were house guests of former Hollywood producer Harvey Wine-Merchant. They recently revealed that they first made eye-contact when each retrieved the other's rubberised play-mat by mistake. Not surprisingly, controversy followed the announcement of their engagement given not only the significant difference in age between the two, but Mr Whisky-McNighly's status as 24th in line for the rotating Dorset presidency.
Head of Radio Langton Maltravers' Youth Programming, Biddy Baxters-Souppe revealed that the couple had been invited to attend a recording session in the firm expectation that they would decline. "Their acceptance surprised me", said a still visibly shaken Ms Baxter-Souppe, "well appalled me is nearer the mark. I mean who wants to be associated with an ageing roué and a porn star? .... " "Everyone except you", chorused her technical team and the crowd of (4) onlookers. "What do I know" said an abashed Ms Baxter-Souppe who is also head of Social Media and Audience Trend Research at the Radio Station.
* variously translatable as couple of our times or possibly, in Ms Megan's case, boobs of the day
Celebrity couple - former Stringbonefellow's co-owner "Prince" Humphrey Whisky-McNightly and his recently-unveiled bride-to-be former French-Canadian porn star Renault Megan - made a surprise visit to Radio Langton Matravers' Youth Facility yesterday and met with trainee broadcasters. Ms Megan appeared relaxed and smiling though her fiancé less so. At one point during the visit he was heard to ask: "What the fxxk's that noise" and seemed genuinely bemused when told it was "music". "Prince" Humphrey Whisky-McNightly is 86. ANTI-CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: the couple arrived in high spirits to be greeted by Head of Radio Langton Maltravers' Youth Programming, Biddy Baxters-Souppe; for Humphrey at least, the euphoria didn't last. The Sydlington St Nicholas Sun aims a well-directed barb; the microphones may have been on, but the "Prince" remained stumm.