Something Fermented, Something Blue
Threadbone Farms ("It's all in the chemicals"™ and "A caged hen is a safe hen"™) has announced that its signature Dorsetshire Blue Cheese, trademarked under its Fridge Farm™ ("Straight from the lab and into the freezer"™) Brand, is to go into hyper-industrial production following the new Drexit Deal and an agreement on the tariff-free import of several of the critical inorganic chemical ingredients used in its manufacture. "Since the actual milk content is negligible, we are in the clear", says Mrs Helen Bowmaster, inventor, quality control advisor and nominal figurehead of the Fridge Farm product line. "Most of the so-called 'Dairy Product' manufacturers are in meltdown at the moment pending the outcome of continuing discussions surrounding organic substances import/export protocols, but mercifully that won't affect us in the least and we have a company-wide green light for upscaling to a hitherto unprecedented level", she said.
Dorsetshire Blue Cheese first came to public notice when a sample of the product was unexpectedly entered and even more unexpectedly won the Threadbone Award for Industrial Byproducts Masquerading as a Craft Cheese at the RSCBE Food and Drinks Awards in 2015. It has proved popular with consumers looking for a cheaper alternative to Threadbone Extra's Basic Everyday-value No-nonsense Blue Cheese line as well as those with serious rodent trap-baiting needs. [Almost a quarter of Fridge Farm's output goes directly into the manufacture of Threadbone Laboratories' Rataway™ Dorset's most popular pest control substance. [ed]] . So it's good news all round both for the cash-strapped shopper with high cheese-dependancy issues and the unhappy householder sharing his Dorsetshire Blue with a small army of unwanted furry neighbours!
The Threadbone Farms Group has cultivated a wholesome image which has gained the confidence of discerning shoppers Dorset-wide. ANTICLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: The "Farm" a veritable idyll and cornucopia from which all good things come; the Threadbone Industries' High Output Chemical Engineering Works from which many of Threadbone Farms' products actually emerge; Rataway™ one of Threadbone Laboratories' most successful products would be impossible without the close synergy existing between its pest control and domestic foods operations; Fridge Farm's Dorsetshire Blue Cheese: the flagship foodstuff beloved of millions and "totally inorganic from start to finish".