Protest In The Fast Lane Or Firing On All Fonts
In what many are describing as "the unlikeliest of unholy alliances", the Chemical Rights Protection League and Chilfrome-based Rats'R'Us, have combined forces with Formula One in an effort to globalise their protest against the Threadbone Corporation's Fridge Farms product line and in particular their popular Dorsetshire Blue Cheese.
In an advertisement taken out in this month's Dorset Motor Sports Magazine and sponsored by Motor Racing Against Cruelty, the CRPL's hard-hitting campaign to boycott inorganically-sourced faux-lactose products takes on a new dimension, stating that Mrs Threadbone should "get out" [of or from where? [ed]], that her "cheese stinks" and that she is a "T****r". Strong stuff!
Asked to justify the inclusion of the advertisement which many consider both cheesist and offensive, Dorset Motor Sports Magazine editor N Gin was understandably defensive: "they paid the required fee and that's the end of it".
So why has the CRPL chosen to link up with Formula One? Is there a natural synergy between the world of high octane racing and high octane faux-lactose cheese products? "Not in the least", says CRPL's Head of Global Campaigning and Publicity - Zoe Glo-Ball - "we just liked their new font and wanted an opportunity to use it. It's funky".
Meanwhile the Threadbone Corporation has issued an injunction against Dorset Motor Sports Magazine and is considering withdrawing its sponsorship of the Thrupiece Formula One Team whose drivers have yet to start a race. Team Leader Henri Diggarolo broke down in first practice, whilst pay-per-drive team-mate Sergei Ivalotov-Roubles failed to get to the track. The next race is in Bahrain. Fridge Farms brand Dorsetshire Blue cheese is on offer at all branches of Threadbone Extra until April 12 2022. Customers purchasing two tubs will be entitled to a 100% discount on up to 12 more. Don't bother to hurry. Stocks are expected to last.
Readers interested in supporting the CRPL's Campaign can download a poster for home use HERE
Their names will be passed on to Mrs Threadbone.
This month's edition of Dorset Motor racing magazine features a hard-hitting advertisement sponsored by Motor Racing Against Cruelty. Even critics of the advertisement agree that Formula One's new font and logo are "sexy, funky and cool".