According to the well-respected interweb site Bonipedia, unlike their Canadian counterparts, L'Autorités Suisses may not "always get their man", but they are nevertheless "doggedly persistent in a characteristically annoying Swiss fashion". Many, not least those living and working in the environs of Great Heaving, have had good reason over the years to doubt this somewhat flattering description, given their apparent inactivity in the matter of Professor Thrupiece and his as yet unexplained disappearance from a hotel room in Geneva whilst attending the Annual Edna Awards in April 2004.
The matter - which has been "pending" for almost a decade and a half - appears to many to have been in suspended animation and, for as long as the Professor's official status remains "missing presumed absent", question will continue to be asked of those heading the investigations, particularly the debonnaire but ageing Commissaire de Police Arsene Berglàre. Commissaire Berglàre, says Swiss security expert Andre Groupe-Quatre, well deserves his soubriquet "Le pot de lancer inutile"*, so hopes of a breakthrough have been muted to say the least.
Now, however, comes the surprise announcement that, on returning to "the scene of the crime"**, L'Experts Légistes Suisses, have discovered a passport which "semble avoir glissé sous le lit et est passé inaperçu pendant 14 ans". "C'est une erreur facile à faire et personne n'est à blâmer, surtout moi", Commissioner Berglàre told a packed press conference in the Stade des émirats (formerly the Palais de Justice) Genève. "C'était un grand lit et certains de mes officiers ont les bras très courts", he continued. Asked if anything else had been discovered during the search, he replied: "Rien de très important, juste de la corde, un mouchoir souillé, de la chlorophore et une matraque caoutchoutée". "Oh et un paquet obsolète de contraceptifs masculins de la variété aromatisée au cassis", he added.
Whilst refusing to be drawn on the details of the finds - which are described as "potentiellement important"*** and reluctant to give false hope, Commissioner Berglàre's English counterpart, Dorset's very own Chief Constable, Sir Rising Crimewave, felt there were grounds for optimism. "We have found the Professor's passport and he can't get very far without it, so the likelihood is he is somewhere in Geneva. In all likelihood he has simply lost all track of time and is wondering when the Edna Ceremony starts. He may even be looking for his passport. The even better news is that we have it, so when he contacts us in due course, we can soon put his mind at rest". "May I take this opportunity to thank Commissaire Berglàre and his colleagues for their eagle-eyed observational skills. It takes training and experience to make this kind of discovery. It's never easy - especially when a case has gone as cold as this one".
* "The useless toss-pot"
** © Ms Shelley-Lulette Sizemore, Threadbone Crimeshelf & The Threadbone Press 2017. All rights reserved.
*** LINGUISTIC NOTE: typically - and only in order to confuse, the French "important" is equivalent to the English" significant". A lazy language however you "regarder" it!
The Professor's passport may be an important clue to his whereabouts. He could not have crossed the Frontière Suisse (Swiss Border) without it.
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