"The appointment to the General Board of the Threadbone Corporation (and as Deputy Chair no less) of Mr Royston Binstock has taken Great Heaving greasy-pole watchers by complete surprise", writes Dorset Business Review's Chief Financial Editor Dewi Jones in this month's edition of the printed word's prestige high finance bellwether. "Barely a week ago Dorset Casino were offering odds of 500/1 on his appointment. So it's fair to say most of us have been caught trousers-down and completely napping", he continues.
So just who is this rank outsider who seems to have vaulted over so many better-fancied candidates to land the plumb job of sitting on Mrs Threadbone's right hand? Little is known of Mr Royston Oriel Binstock (or Roy as he prefers to be know) except that he is in no way part of the "same old same old" pattern which generally characterises the nepotism of Threadbone Corporation appointments. The DODB (Dictionary of Dorset Biography) tells us only that he is a second cousin of Mrs Edna Whisky-McNightly, a relative of the late Mr Threadbone on his father's side, godson of Celia Notso-Pointy and husband of one of Mrs Audrey Badminton Court's nieces. All in all a surprising choice whose unusual credentials and "untainted" outlook is expected to bring new perspectives and a breath of fresh air to proceedings inside the giant corporate hub.
"After so many years of excellent but essentially "family controlled" stewardship under the iron grip of Mrs Threadbone and her immediate circle, it's certainly refreshing to welcome a complete outsider whose views will be unaffected by the traditionalism and insularity which have sometimes characterised decision making at the heart of the Thrupiece empire", said AJTCorps Director of Communications Mr Tele Graf-Cable. "And he represents, of course, young as well as new blood, being still several months short of his 61st birthday", he continued. "In addition he has the luxury of a having enjoyed a very long apprenticeship under the watchful oversight of Mrs Threadbone herself."
Asked if Mr Binstock's appointment represented a significant risk, Mr Graf-Cable was clear: 'Well there's no denying there is always a risk involved when you take the imaginative route and make such a brave appointment, but there's also truth in the famous saying "If you're old enough you're good enough". And boy is Roy old enough.'
[Editors note: "Surprised by Roy" is used by kind permission of the estate of former scholar, theologian and populist writer Sergeant C S Lewis whose adventures with the Oxford (Thames Valley) constabulary are recorded in his autobiography "Surprised by Joy". That book in turn inspired Colin Sinister's Inspector Series Inspector Telegraph which even the most bibliophobic amongst us will know well.]
Odds on Mr Royston "Roy" Binstock succeeding in his new role as Deputy Chair of the Threadbone Corporation / thrupiece organisation were said to be the same as those quoted for his getting the job in the first place (Dorset Casino 500/1). Whilst a spokesperson for Mrs Threadbone sought to minimise the risk of a bold appointment such as his, industry insiders suggest that "he'll be gone by the Conference Season" (late September). Watch this space.