Dorset Coach Injured In Bizarre Jogging Accident


Head coach of the Dorset Mixed Quoits and Home Brewing team Mrs Gwen Southpole was involved in a bizarre training accident yesterday, Team Dorset sources revealed after Mrs Southpole appeared at a Press Conference wearing an arm sling and a broad smile.

"I've been a bit of a silly-billy" the former three times Canford Magna Area Hoopia and Craft Ale Champion admitted. "I was taking routine training with the team - getting them to perfect their synchronised Bothenhampton overarm double dorsals (with a DQA specific unified standard 4 lb quoit) whilst checking the specific gravity of a 2017 milk stout in Verwood suspension - when I felt a twinge. Thinking it was just Vice President Jermyn Street doing his usual pre-match digital morale boosting routine, I was ready to make a compensating over-clench when I felt something snap - and for once it wasn't my temper!", she joked. A former DHRA Llama Gymkhana Organiser and winner of Milton-on-Stour's Annual Smiling under Duress Competition (1968), Mrs Southpole is known for her ability to smile under duress.

"It's lucky it happened to me and not a member of the team itself", she joked. "With a regional final against the Wiltshire on the cards, the last thing we need is a smiling limp-wristed former three times Canford Magna Area Hoopia and Craft Ale Champion throwing a wonky quoit at a critical moment, though I would like it to be known that I can still manage a bottom fermentation/reversible decoction double-axel singlehanded!"

"She has an amazingly strong grip and a dependable one-handed technique", DHRA Men's Section Fire Officer and husband Scott Southpole affirmed, "it's all in the wrist action and I am, convinced that, if push comes to shove, she could still pull it off".

Mr Southpole is 35; Mrs Southpole isn't..


Mrs Southpole at the Press Conference yesterday showing signs of the injury she sustained whilst training the team.

Mrs Southpole at the Press Conference yesterday showing signs of the injury she sustained whilst training the team. Still the life and soul of the party and a dab hand with the sparging liquor, she has been known to perform a full cycle fermentation as well as a double-sequential three mott overlap (Long Game; Minterne Magna Variation) in less than three days


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