At Last: It's National Thrupiece Day!
Campaigners for the establishment of a National Thrupiece Day celebrated today as dawn broke on the first ever official recognition of the Professor's life and work(s). "The 10 July might once have been remembered as the first day of the Battle of Britain", says long-time Thrupiece Day advocate Kate Warninks-Advocaat, "but we are confident that from now on it will be celebrated as National Thrupiece Day. I've already killed a chicken and examined it's entrails carefully. The omens are good!"
Earlier, bells rang throughout Dorset, beginning in Batcombe (the Professor's birthplace) and ending 2 hours later in Chilfrome where the Professor spent much of his down-time in the company of Ms Shelley-Lulette Sizemore his muse, companion and horizontal jogging partner.
Readers will need no reminding that the Campaign to establish a memorial day for the Professor was hard won, beginning as early as 2007, but gathering significant momentum only after it was endorsed by The Sydling St Nicholas Sun in 2009 in it's "Do It For The Missing Prof" Campaign. For some, however, the fight continues, since no official Bank Holiday has yet been declared. "For some of us the fight goes on since no official Bank Holiday has yet been declared", said activist Holly Bank-Day, "and until you get a day off work there's not really much to celebrate is there?".
In the meantime, The Royal Dorset Mail has marked the occasion by issuing a limited edition first day cover featuring three new stamps each bearing an image of one of the Professor's three recently rediscovered passports. Philatelist Phil Atta-Liszt says the covers are likely to prove highly collectable - particularly if National Thrupiece Day fails to "take off". "If for example nobody notices it and forgets all about it next year, then these stamps will take on an historical significant wholly disproportionate to today's event. After all at the moment it's just remembering some old geezer who apparently disappeared from a Swiss Hotel room in unexplained circumstances and who gives a flying frannie about that .. certainly not that Commissaire Berglar if the recent television series is anything to go by", said Mr Atta-Liszt shortly before being escorted to an unknown address "for his own safety".
Supporters of the Professor are, however, determined to make sure that National Thrupiece Day continues sine die. "We are going to build on this and make it the biggest celebration of the Dorset year" said a spokesperson for Threadbone Commemorations Ltd, the company officially licensed to manufacture National Thrupiece Day memorabilia. "We are starting with flags and mugs and sweatshirts moving into kitchenware, knick-knacks and novelty key-rings next. The possibilities are endless".
THOSE THRUPIECE DAY EVENTS IN FULL
Professor Thrupiece-shaped Vegetable Competition, Fifehead St Quentin Garden Centre, 12 noon
Pin the Moustache on the Professor, Piddletrenthide Scout Hut, 2pm
Thrupiece Lookalike Competition (all ages) Chaldon Herrimng WI, 3pm
Hunt the Small Electrical Appliance (sponsored by The Flyco Company [Shanghai, China]), The Hornimint Hall of Fame, Toller Fratrum 4pm
Sacred Service, St Catherine's Chapel, Abbotsbury 5pm
Professor Thrupiece Memorial Longest Conga World Record Attempt, Thrupiece World (internet subscribers only - please be online 10 minutes earlier) 6pm (cyber space)
Thrupiece Diet Feast (registered users only, 1 course £35 per head)) The Skewered Child Public House, Tarrant Monkton, 7pm
Concert for Thrupiece Day (Thrupiece Philharmonic Orchestra and Chorus, Irina Legova), Symphony Hall, Cripplestyle 8pm
For a larger image of the Collector''s Edition Click HERE
Royal Dorset mail have issued a First Day Cover commemorating the first ever National Thrupiece Day. "It's long overdue" said Dorset Public Libraries Head - Bea Book-Lender - "a bit like most of our books".