Details of this year’s Mr Threadbone Annual Memorial Lecture have been released by the DHRA ahead of next week’s much-anticipated event. The lecture entitled “The Perils of Overtightning: Nuts, Hand-grips and the Tools of My Trade” will be given by DHRA favourite Enriqué de los Chicos Perdidos and - in great news for language enthusiasts Dorset-wide - the lavishly illustrated lecture (featuring many never-before-seen photographs from the lecturer's private collection) will be given in Spanglish with a near simultaneous (average 3 minute delay) translation by Threadbone associate and famed Ibizan singer/authoress Ms Imin Clubbe-Lande. [Those few readers unfamiliar with Ms Clubbe-Lande's "credentials" can find out more HERE].
Speaking ahead of the lecture ex-Spanish Boy Scout Enrique (de los Chicos Perdidos) - who was introduced to the Threadbone family via Professor Brian Thrupiece and his one-time associate General Franco - said: "Estoy tan feliz de hacer este tributo a mi mentor, el señor Threadbone. Cada vez que lo conocí me sentí y esta experiencia se ha quedado conmigo toda mi vida".
["I am so so happy to make this tribute to my mentor Mr Threadbone. Every time I met him I got felt up [surely "felt up-lifted" (Ed)] and this experience has stayed with me all my life".
Once the most famous ex-Spanish Boy Scout in Dorset, Enriqué had enjoyed brief fame in his native Spain as a poster boy for the movement. LEFT: The famous poster urging the youth of Spain to seize "what stood proudly before them" with both hands; RIGHT the English translation of the poster described by Scout Leader Douglas Baden-Baden as "less than felicitous"
The Mr Threadone Annual Memorial Lecture will be given in the Old Assembly Hut, Ibberton at 7.30 following a knife, fork and cheeky finger buffet [courtesy Mrs Amanda J Threadbone] at 7.15. Proceedings are expected to conclude by 11.45. Those wishing to visit the site intended for the Mr Threadbone Memorial Pole (a now traditional and much loved addition to the Annual Lecture are asked to remain in their seats at the conclusion of the lecture until a carer is available to collect them. Please note that, pending a planning application, there are no toilet facilities at the Memorial Pole site*. Attendees (particularly those over 60) should take a leaf out of the Spanish Boy Scout Manual [1964] and - like Enriqué himself "be prepared".
*Details of the ongoing "Mr Threadbone Memorial Pole Fiasco" can be found HERE
Spanish "ayes": TOP: A young Enriqué (wearing scout hat) is introduced to president Nixon by the de los Chicos Perdidos family's friend and near-neighbour General Franco. A young and visibly excited Jeremy Thorpe stands strategically poised behind General Franco's rear. MIDDLE Professor Thrupiece was briefly admitted into the Spanish Fascist Dictator's inner circle whilst working on a cure for Spanish 'flu - his belief that Thrupiece Diet genetically modified proto-fluff soaked in methylated spirits would eradicate the fatal killer proved ill founded (General Franco refused to eat it and survived until 1975). BOTTOM General Franco at his desk. A self-confessed fan of Threadbone Crimeshelf novels, he was so eager to read the latest releases, he arranged for them to be stolen from The Threadbone Press Printing facility in galley-proof form. See Camilla Indoor-Bowls, "Franco Pulled My Preliminaries: Espionage at The Threadbone Press (1997-2007)" The Threadbone Press, 2008.