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A Tropical Hell On Earth

DBC Broadcasting House

Telephone lines were understood to be "jammed" today at the Dorset Broadcasting Corporation's Broadcasting House after Tony Deaffe - said to be the man with the world's most execrable musical taste - was featured on the Corporation's flagship Radio 4 programme "Tropical Paradise Discs". A spokesperson for the Corporation admitted that reactions to the programme had been "noteworthy" but declined to apologies outright for what one listener described as "the biggest musical car-crash since Ernestina Schumann-Heink (15 June 1861 – 17 November 1936) duetted with a young Carmen Miranda (February 9, 1909 – August 5, 1955) in The Banana Boat Song" on The Ovalteenies Saturday Show.

Interviewed on the programme by regular presenter Thomas Cooke-Halliday, Mr Deaffe chose as his eight favourite discs:

The Cheeky Girls: "The Cheeky Song (Touch My Bum)" (Remix feat. Lambert Opik)

Mr Blobby: "Mr Blobby" (feat. Noel Christmas)

Black Lace "Agadoo" (Friday Night is Music Night remix feat. Bobby Crush and the Cliff Adams Singers)

Paul McCartney: "Ebony and Ivory" (Céilidh Remix feat Stevie Wonderbread, Andy Steward and Mother's Pride)

Los del Río: “Macarena” (Skegness Summer Party Mix)

The Beverley Sisters: "Sisters" (Wembley Live Remix feat. Billy Wright and his All England Squad)

Trini Lopez (y Los Trios Paraguayos): "If I had a hammer (I would hit my own head with it)"

Moira Anderson: "Mother dear (please pop your clogs before the money runs out)" (Hospital Remix)

His chosen book was Wayne Rooney: My Story So Far and his luxury item a life-size model of personal hero Frank Bough. Asked on the programme what he would consider his ideal night out, he first suggested "line dancing with Christine Bleakley" before settling instead for "a bag of chips and a simplified Dick Francis".

Doffcom, the county media regulator is understood to be investigating the programme and a class action on behalf of the Musician's Union has not been ruled out.

Mr Deaffe is 63 and has recently been receiving treatment for depression. "He listens to a lot of music", his niece explained. "We are not convinced it's good for him."

The Dorset Broadcasting Corporation's flagship Tropical Paradise Discs is an evergreen amongst a certain generation of radio listeners. Not unacquainted with controversy, recent attempts to popularise the programme amongst younger listeners by "serious systematic and intentional dumbing down" has met with mixed success. Fans of the programme will be hoping last Friday's edition was the nadir. CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: The Programme's logo seeks to reassure listeners of a stress free experience; veteran presenter Thomas Cooke-Halliday has hosted the programme which he himself devised for nearly 70 years; the new logo designed to attract a modern generation of listeners has not met with universal approval; Tony Deaffe in Studio B on Friday. He is unrepentant in the face of an onslaught of criticism.

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