At the conclusion to a difficult week for the Threadbone Corporation, with the implications of both Poem- and Crossword-gate still to be fully digested, the Great Heaving multinational is gearing up for a corporate charm offensive unlike any in its previous history. This will, we are told, combine elements of both "scandals" in a fun for all family competition. The playful nature of the competition is, we believe, as far as the Corporation will go in admitting that there is any truth in the accusations recently levelled against its CEO, CFO, CIO, Chair and President Mrs Amanda J Theadbone. "We firmly believe that the best form of attack is defence", said Jericho Walls, defensive spokesperson for the giant corporation.
Perhaps recognising that a series of stout denials is doing little to re-ingratiate the Threadbone brand with its public, the sharpest minds in the organisation have been brought together to devise a competition in which entrants must first locate a series of words in a puzzle grid and then deploy as many of them as possible in a lyric poem the theme of which must be either Why we so admire Mrs Threadbone or Why we don’t believe the nasty rumours; Mrs Threadbone is wonderful.
"We believe that tackling the problem in this novel way will not only engage the public in a positive way but also demonstrate that "words alone do not a poem make" Mr Walls told a packed group of three journalists today. "By trying to write in verse form using a stock set of nouns the naysayers will realise that even had Ms Westlake provided Mrs Threadbone with all of the words contained in her poem, it was still an act of artistic skill and cultural bravery to assemble them in the order in which they finally found themselves in the finished poem".
“Nothing comes from nothing” the Delphic spokesperson continued “so something might come from something or nothing from something - in any event entry is free, so it cost nothing which is something and so it’s something for nothing however you choose to look at it. Merry Christmas. This office is now closed until 4th January 2019”.
A Competition entry form can be downloaded HERE
Unprecedented scenes of High Security at the Threadbone Corporation's newly-built Charm Offensive HQ in Great Heaving. Security Expert Mort Islok believes it is a sign of the times. "It's a sign of the times", Mr Islok said.
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