In a postscript to her earlier report, Chief Historical Romance Associations Correspondent, Boudice Wrippa adds:
There were ugly scenes in outside the DHRA's main branch office in Piddletrenthide today as supporters and opponents of both Mrs Doris Endersely-Kindersley and the Drexit-based North Devon front-stop clashed. All this comes ahead of tonight's crucial DHRA vote, triggered last night when after a heavy defeat of her own, Mrs Endersely-Kindersley moved a vote of no confidence in Mr Jermyn Street as Opposition leader - at Mr Street's own request. "He wanted to fall on his own sword, but couldn't find it", she said earlier today, "so it seemed a kindness to provide him with one".
Meanwhile in Piddletrenthide [update 13.15]
"It's a scene of utter confusion", confessed Royal Dorset Chief Constable Sir Rising Crimewave. "There are pro-Endersely-Kindersley pro-Drexit factions and pro-Endersely-Kindersley anti-Drexit groups as well as anti-Endersely-Kindersley pro-Drexit supporters and anti-Endersely-Kindersley anti-Drexit campaigners. Throw in the pro- and anti- "People's Vote Until We Get The result We Want" elements and the pro- and anti-Jermyn Street for DHRA PM and Secretary hardliners and you can see it's a recipe for disaster." "Most people don't know who they are marching with or for and we are trying our best to sort them out into coherent factions so that they can shout at each other properly but it isn't easy", he added.
Bob Thickie is even more confused than most. Seeing a large crowd outside Threadboys Burgers, he assumed there was a special offer on Double Whammies and joined the disorderly queue. "I've been here for more than an hour and hardly moved", he said, "I assume it's some holdup at the deep fat fryer end".
TOP: Some banners evidenced a degree of confusion over the fundamental issues; [BOTTOM] Ugly scenes outside the Threadboys Burger emporium in Piddletrenthide as whole groups of people with no idea why they had taken to the streets encountered others of similar mindlessness. Police said they were barely able to cope and that
"in any event, it's not our job to pass people their fries or hand out ranch dressing".
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