A Gratifying Concern
professorthrupiece.com has learned from sources close to professorthrupiece.com that staff at professorthrupiece.com's eerily deserted Headquarters in Great Heaving are greatly appreciative of the "gratifying concern" expressed by a number of readers over the unusual silence that has befallen the organisation's PR Department. The PR department is responsible for the organisation's almost daily Blog which is much admired and enjoyed by up to three people daily. The blog last appeared several days ago. Switchboard operator Mavis Pluggin [working from home] has reported that a number of callers [the normally reticent MS Eunice Trapshutt included] have sought to contact the organisation in search of an explanation.
Several theories have already been advanced in explanation of the silence. They have ranged from the relatively tame [a] a fatal staff wipeout due to a deadly virus [no not that one] and [b] a raid and equipment seizure by the armoured division of the RDC to much more sinister conspiracies including international plots involving polonium poisoning by agents of former KGB officer and feisty former professorthrupiece.com translator Olga Snapakokov. Ms Snapakokov was last seen departing Great Heaving in a hurry and carrying an empty Waitaminute Bag-for-Life - an action described by Security Expert Chubb Lockenkey as "highly suspicious". ["To the expert eye an empty Waitaminute Bag-for-Life can only mean two things - the owner has disposed of something portable but highly toxic [eg a polonium-laden teabag] or they are going shopping. It takes years of surveillance training and on-the-job experience to know this, so many dangerous people go undetected by the general public on an almost daily basis".]
Meanwhile, back in Great Heaving a spokeswoman for professorthrupiece.com [Ms Catriona Mouthpiece] declined our offer to "come clean about the whole affair" but insisted that it would soon be business as usual. Whilst fans of professorthrupiece.com will be pleased to know that, the absence of an exact date for the blog's recommencement will continue to cause concern - gratifying or otherwise.
In other news:
professorthrupiece.com has learned from sources close to professorthrupiece.com that plans to continue to allow actors in the thrupieceorganisation's long running radio soap The Drovers to work from home in under-stairs cupboards, wardrobes and garages the length and breadth of Dorset have been abandoned. The experiment - which took 4 years to set up and resulted in only 4 recordings - was declared "a catastrophic failure on technical, practical, artistic, economic, cultural and medical grounds" by a panel of no-longer-interested fans. "It was complete shite" one - a Mr I Speakforall - declared: something upon which we can all agree in these divisive and distancing times.