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Writer's pictureProfessor Brian Thrupiece

A Nose For Business

In what retail experts have described as a 'bold and intelligent move", the Threadbone Corporation has decided to increase its presence north of the Dorset border by establishing a chain of novelty stores under the Thrupiece© Brand. Capitalising on the Professor's international reputation as a master of wit and repartee [see, for example, They Also Serve Who Only Gather Fluff: The Collected Witicisms of Professor Brian Thrupiece edited by Mrs Amanda J Threadbone [Threadbone Press 2017] [HERE], the shops aim to capture "the spirit of comic abandon that characterised the Professor's work, even at its most earnest".


Edinburgh store manager Whoopie McKushon, reported that business on the store's opening day was brisk with Professor Thrupiece rubber face masks outselling all other items 12:1. Next most popular was the Sid Sodd joke turd [size large] followed by the Professor Thrupiece giant liquorice torpedo selection box and the Hornimint novelty chocolate penis.


There are currently 12 Thrupiece Novelty Stores (8 in Dorset) with a further 4 in the pipeline (Girton, Cockermouth, Swanage and Penrith). All items are sold on a strictly non-returnable basis.


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Threadbone Corporation Head of Retail Sales [Novelty Items] Ms Novelle Tye-Stuffe has threeted(*)

"We've just decided to open a branch in Cheadle!!! Thanks Leahcim Egnillib for your suggestion and yes Thrupiece novelty posing pouches will be available in sky blue! LOL"


(*) the ©threet messaging service is available only to customers registered on the Threadbone Narrow Band Dial Up Digital Platform


The most recent - Edinburgh - branch of the Thrupiece Souveni[e]r [sic] Novelty Store chain has already found a place in the heart of the semi-nation's capital's retail sector.  Experts say that wherever tourists gather, there is always a place for "expensive crap and worthless tat".
The most recent - Edinburgh - branch of the Thrupiece Souveni[e]r [sic] Novelty Store chain has already found a place in the heart of the semi-nation's capital's retail sector. Experts say that wherever tourists gather, there is always a place for "expensive crap and worthless tat".

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