An occasional series in which a reader writes, perhaps in response to something they have read [even something another reader has written], or begins a new topic by writing about it as a reader, in the hope that another reader will read it and then themselves be inspired to write.
Readers should therefore regard A Reader Writes as an open invitation not only to read what other readers have written but also to write in themselves and become an active participant in the interactive digital inter-exchange platform which A Reader Writes aspires to offer to both readers and writers alike.
The Gentleman's Club
Drimpton
Dear Sir
As a reader I write to "A Reader Writes" in response to your recent article on the "Roman" finds [or should I say faux trouvés] in the St Quentin Millennium Shopping Mall in Frome St Quentin. I was struck, on taking a magnifying glass to one of the ridiculously small illustrations contained in your article [you can hardly see any naughty bits at all though perhaps this is deliberate], by the similarity in style between these murals and a picture I have hanging in my study next to my framed letter from Ms Mandy Rice-Davies. [In the letter Ms Rice-Davies responds to my invitation to supper explaining that she has a prior engagement with, I think, a prominent perfumerer or perhaps performer... her handwriting is unclear. But I digress...]
Always being something of an admirer of what we used to be able to refer to as the opposite sex [a term so fraught with possibilities these days that I hesitate to use it], I have an extensive collection of female portraits but this Roman study [picture enclosed] is amongst my favourites. It is I believe by an unknown Roman artist who was clearly influenced by the much later 20th century Bauhaus "Betrübt" School* and to the trained collector with a practiced eye and a feel for technique there is clearly a strong and discernable linear connection between the two. However, I myself treasure most the much later original which must have inspired the earlier Roman copy - it's much more explicit and you can almost see m****e". I have had it blown up to life size and, believe me, it really is an fly-opener**
Sincerely
John Thomas Handin-Trowsers
Colonel [Rtd] and former Conservative MP for Bradpole South
PS Do you think perchance that the ears of corn depicted in the blow up were the inspiration for the Roman-themed horror film Glad I Ate Her? I would like to think so and my old friend and fellow club member Sir Rising Crimewave believes it entirely plausible.
NB Photos attached - please return.
PPS Though you can't see the join, some years ago I commissioned a local artisan to add "Claudia" to the mother and child portrait - a great improvement I think you will agree - adding considerable horsepower in the érotisme department.
** surely an eye-opener?? [Ed]
Editorial and General Educational Note:
The Bauhaus Betrübt [Distressed] School to which the Colonel refers was a 20th Century German art movement the aim of which was to manufacture and recycle as much indestructible wooden furniture as possible with a view to flooding the market and destroying the High Wickham furniture industry. Its overweaning efforts in this regard [together with its ambitions to turn all architecture into Ede and Ravenscroft-themed shoeboxes] is widely held to have led to the Second World War. The School's inspired director and founding spirit was the notorious womaniser Walter Grop'dus.
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