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And The Award Doesn't Go To ....


Distinction Rebellion is, say some social commentators, a "sign of the times and the shape of things to come". Others disagree arguing instead that they are "a bunch of useless f*****g w*****s".

Protests aimed at stripping a number of famous Dorset personalities of their accumulated awards and honours escalated today when a group of self-styled anarchists - the so-called Distinction Rebellion - blockaded the entrance to the Great Heaving business complex which is home to the thrupieceorganisation, The Threadbone Corporation and the Hornimint Company. Two side roads were also affected meaning that Phil'em Up, the sandwich van which ordinarily supplies workers with on-site sandwiches and wraps was unable to service its customers. Proprietor Phil Uppam was less than best pleased. "I am totally f****d off, p****d off and s**t angry at these lazy c***s with nothing better to do than f**k me off", he said.


Distinction Rebellion protester Awe-Wei WIther-Fairies blocks the road outside Iwerne Courtney causing "chaos, distress and massive disruption to ordinary life"

What had begun a few weeks ago with minor street closures in Higher Wraxall, Corfe Mullen, Fifehead Neville, Loders and Iwerne Courtney aimed at stripping Mrs Amanda J Threadbone of three Doset Businesswoman of the Year titles, took a far more serious turn as a crowd of more than six middle-aged troublemakers waved placards in the faces of two security guards and shouted "Down with the fat cats, or words to that effect". A spokesperson for the Royal Dorset Constabulary would neither confirm nor deny that DHRA Opposition leader Mr Jermyn Street was amongst those detained, though he did go as far as to say "a man with a beard who should know better is helping us with our inquiries".


The Distinction Rebellion movement is a West Country-wide phenomenon dedicated to targeting all those who in the opinion of its leaders have received honours from any organisation or institution to which they were not, in the movement's view, fully entitled or which was won on the back of endeavours not entirely their own. A spokesperson for Distinction Rebellion said they would continue to protest at every opportunity as well as cause the maximum possible disruption to ordinary civilian life for as long as the capitalist, imperialist, fascist, anti-environmental, anti-queer, anti-feminist, anti-proletariat rewards system remained in place. Their next target according to RDC moles deep within the organisation is likely to be the Annual Ednas Ceremony [King's Theatre, Colehill], followed by the RSCBE's Lifetime Achievement in Bio-ethical Science Awards [Municiple Hall, Chaldon Herring]. One of the protestors who identified himself only as Mr J.S. insisted that the entire system was corrupt and that the cancerous rot went to the very heart of the West Country establishment - even into the inner offices of the DHRA. Speaking in front of a banner claiming that distinction should be "For the many not the few", he added that the DHRA would feel the full force of the Distinction Rebellion's wrath if its next "Most Popular Member" award did not go to long-standing opposition faction leader Mr Jermyn Street.


JS aka Grumpy is one of a number of self-appointed leaders of Distinction Rebellion. Opinion is divided as to whether or not the movement is gaining traction amongst the general populace.

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