Bridport Backlash


In what local police have described as a "surprising turn of events" Bridport's local sea food, wet fish and other vinegar-preserved comestible vendors have rounded on town Council leaders during an angry demonstration in the town centre, branding the elected officials' refusal to lower taxes on their products in the recently announced economic stimulus package, a "massive slap in the face-mask".


A particular focus for their unprecedented anger is opposition leader Alderman Pier Stalker who had earlier argued that he was protecting both stocks and vendors by refusing to support a lowering of VST tax thresholds in the hard-hit resort. A visibly shaken Alderman Stalker was escorted from the chamber by two auxiliary officers from the RDC Community Officer's Corps, one of whom - Auxiliary Community Officer and former Miss Bridport for June - June Helpmeet [28-28-34] - was later said to be comforting the distressed Councillor in the privacy of his own home. This was, said the Alderman's wife Mrs Beena Stalker - who has been visiting relatives in Batcombe since 1995 - "news to her".


Several of the resort's promotional posters have been defaced by angry protestors.

In the meantime calls for the local sea food, wet fish and other vinegar-preserved comestible vendors to disperse from the Council's flagship headquarters were being studiously ignored as the protestors insisted they would not give up until what they are calling the "vinegar surcharge" is removed. A spokesman for the traders, Mr Sarson Malt-Disney said that targeting shellfish lovers and those who supplied them was not only unfair but "crustaceanist" - a charge the politically woke council has - on legal advice - firmly rejected. "We are as keen on protecting the rights of multi-legged soft-bodied hard-shell sea-based creatures as anyone", economic adviser Yukant Maikituppe added in a statement issued to the Dorset Press Association. "If you want further evidence of that just speak to the man with the most experience of soft-bodied creatures as anyone I know - Alderman Stalker... though perhaps not just at present. I'd give him a minute or two to recover from his attempts to "fire up his engines" whilst satisfying our local police.”

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