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Contra Omnia et Singula

Experts say students sometimes struggle to articulate their feelings

Protesting students at the University of Afpuddle have occupied parts of the Vice Chancellor's Greenhouse in an attempt to focus attention on the University's multiple failures to oppose/support/denounce/condone/deplore/

defend/condemn/finance/disinvest in an unspecified number of causes/issues/crises/dilemmas/violations injustices etc etc currently uppermost in the students' ephemeral thoughs.

That Letter: A sign some say that frustration amongst academics at their lack of remuneration is beginning to cloud their judgement.

The occupation which will go on "until things either change or remain the same or term ends" adds to the long list of headaches currently sitting in Pro-Vice Chancellor Grantham Capricorn's in-tray. This morning several academics joined in the protest sending an open letter to Professor Capricorn in which they declare solidarity with the students over their many - still to be defined - grievances.

Earlier in the week students at Alma Mater College had occupied the College's state-of -the-art, DRIBA Award-winning Resources, Recreation and Intellect-fluid Therapy Centre, some waving flags of various hues and challenging the College to come clean on its investment in [perfectly legal] "planet destroying" banks and commercial enterprises [mainly FTSE 100s] as well as its currently poorly articulated stance on transparent safe spaces for sustainable transgender cycleways.

In scenes reminiscent of the student protests of the 1970s, one student bared her chest before defecating on the lawn. Asked if it was turning into a "dirty protest", the student denied the charge, insisting that she had showered shortly before joining the occupation but "in all the excitement" had forgotten to relieve herself before grabbing her coat. There were no signs of said coat.

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