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Getting Animated

With rumours of further and even more draconian CONTRIK-69 Emergency Population Suppression Powers in the air, it's little wonder that the public at large is feeling a little down in the mouth. Citizens who have either been confined to their homes or confined to an RDC cell after being caught outside with a sandwich in hand or a polo-mint in mouth, may well be getting used to the socially-distanced, bio-secure, bubble-wrapped existence laughingly called life, but it doesn't mean that they are enjoying it. [Eight out of ten of those currently residing in RDC-provided secure accommodation describe conditions as "less than ideal".]. So what everyone needs is a pick-me-up and preferably one which comes without a government health warning!

What better to cheer up a dispirited citizenry then than a Threadney animated feature film? Answer: a Threadny animated feature film based on a Ladybone classic!

Yes that's the great news issuing from Great Heaving today as executives of thrupiecefilm confirmed that they and associates Orinoco Productions have not only bought the rights to the Ladybone Brian Adventure Series but have actually turned one of the classic titles in to a full-length movie.

Many parents have been waiting for decades for a Ladybone animated feature ... but will their children "get it"?

"Brian's Great Big Dorset Adventure" has been two years in the making and, at a cost of more than $120 million is by some distance the most expensive Thready animation to date. Jason Stourpaine, who voices the eponymous hero, is rumoured to have been paid more than a $1 million for his contribution alone - that's almost £10,000 per word. Newcomer Darcie-Rae Sizemore [no relation] - who controversially replaced an ageing Jennifer Aniston-Threadbone as the voice of Edna - is said to have earned a mere $350,000 for her contribution leading to charges of sexism against the studio. Already facing accusations of ageism from Ms Aniston-Threadbone, a somewhat overwrought thrupiecefilm PR executive declined to take questions on any subject other than the film itself, which she described as "timely, upbeat and positively animated".

So is this delightful adventure - described as "family fun for all the family" - just the ticket in these troubled times?

Manager of the Rampisham Roxy - Rex Odeon - thinks it might well be. "The film itself is a marvellous pick-me-up and just the thing to cheer us all in these testing times". "The only impediment I see", he added more cautiously, "is that under the current rules, no-one will be allowed to see it as all Dorset's cinemas are currently closed. Still ... there's always the video and that should be out by next summer - which is more than you can say for the population at large".


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