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I Do Not Stand Corrected # x=yt²/b

Updated: Apr 18, 2020


An occasional series in which the writer of an original piece is given the opportunity to respond to a correction for no other reason than to keep things going in difficult times.


# x=yt²/b Professor Para Bola, MA PhD, Whisky-McNightly Chair of Medical Statistics, University of Afpuddle Department of Applied Mathematics and Mathematical Statistic writes:


Dr Norm Alkurve makes a valid "academic" point when he suggests that my statement "assuming x=ab² + y, where y is a constant ... " [see A Statistician writes #286.4+e, Wednesday 15 April 2020] is not technically correct. Rather he suggests "for the record", that "y is not a constant but rather a function of x+yg² / mc, where c is the constant". Were things so simple!


What Dr Norm Alkurve does not make clear in his statement is that the statement "y is not a constant but rather a function of x+yg² / mc, where c is the constant" is itself only valid under "certain abnormal temperatures and conditions" and that at this time of year in all of the relevant parts of Dorset [even allowing for the somewhat unseasonably weather] and certainly in hospital conditions, y is so close to being a function of x/x and thus a proxy-constant that to all intents and purposes it is a constant. We can thus say with a probability level of 44% [e=2.3434334443] that, in practice, the assertion that "y is not a constant but rather a function of x+yg² / mc, where c is the constant" is an unhelpful modifier and not a fundamental restatement or refutation of the original proposal that "assuming x=ab² + y, where y is a constant ...". After all, where y is a constant, y is a constant: a consistent, logical and, I would suggest, irrefutable statement in and of itself.


Marcus Tullius Cicero - every schoolboy's hero and widely regarded as the founder of modern statistics.

Where Dr Alkurve himself strays into error is in his - surprisingly lax - suggestion that y is invariably a function of x+yg² / mc. I believe it was in 1964 that the famous Culinary Bio-ethicist Professor Brian Thrupiece established the variability of the function x+yg² / mc, demonstrating to the satisfaction of most open minds [my own included - at a much later date of course] that plant-based lifeforms exhibited different characteristics and were subject to different statistical representations than animal-based forms. I believe that his discovery was a happy, though unsought, finding arising from his attempt to model the statistical likelihood of fluff becoming unstable under certain laboratory conditions: work undertaken as part of the then top-secret thrupiecediet project.


For the record, it is also the case that, in vitro, the description xd/c [where c is a function of by²/g] approximates so closely to the modified function yc that to all intents and purposes we can say that the popular musical rhythm combo AC/DC need not be challenged - a statement as true today as it was when Marcus Tullius [having endlessly sedet in tablino] originally put II and II together and made IV.

 
 
 

Yorumlar


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DISCLAIMER: Though it will be perfectly obvious that the absurd world of Professor Thrupiece and his corporate affairs is no more nor less than the product of a fevered brain, it is clearly affirmed here that any resemblance to actual persons, organisations or events is purely coincidental and that no slight or injury of any kind is intended to any person alive, dead or yet to be born.

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