As a Member of the Dorset Parliament for over 10 years, I need help.
For the past three years, I have consistently voted to try to end to the living hell of sitting in the Chamber every day - surrounded by idiots on all sides - by trying to bring down the present Government on any conceivable grounds and at every conceivable opportunity. To this end I have voted:
Against the Drexit deal on offer at any point in time - x8
Against a Drexit No-deal - x2
For a Backstop - x 4
Against a Second Slip - x3
For Remaining in the Dorset Customs Union - x5
Against Remaining in the Dorset Non-Customs Union - x5
To respect the outcome of the First Referendum - x2
To hold a Second Referendum - x2
To respect the outcome of the First Referendum whilst holding a Second Referendum - x3
To support a vote of the People, by the People's and for the People - x4
To make it up as we go along [status quo] - x5
To start all over again - x3
No confidence in the Government - x2
Every confidence in Non-Government x 2
In favour of the dissolution of the DP - x2
In favour of a General Election - x2
In favour of mass resignation - x2
In favour of mass suicide - x4
Please just stop - x6
What the f**k? - x8
On each an every occasion, I have failed to secure my freedom. What more, I ask myself, could I have done?
You can well imagine my relief when at long last Parliament was prorogued and I was able to return to my family (and relative sanity) for (I thought) a few precious weeks. You can equally imagine my distress when, no sooner had I unpacked my rods and stretched out my underemployed posing pouch, than the damned Supreme Court ordered us all back to work and I was forced to end my annual holiday in Marbella prematurely. I bet that Lady Hale-Mary fits in a decent holiday every few months. It's alright for some. Think of others you selfish old fart!! I digress.
PLEASE, PLEASE, someone, bring this to an end. I'm an MDP: Get me out of here!
If you would like to help Brian and others like him, please send £10 to: "Free the Dorset 650", PO Box 69, Assembly House, Great Heaving, Dorset. Donations will not be acknowledged and you could be charged for your donation [under the Keep the Uncertainty of Drexit Going At All Costs Act [2017, 2018, 2019, renewable]. See you in the Supreme Court.