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It's Raining Troubles

Executives at the heart of the Threadbone Corporation were said to be incandescent with rage ["at least an environmentally unfriendly 10,000 lumens", an insider suggested] as news reached them of a new video posted on social media purporting to show Professor thrupiece in the studios of Associated Rediffusion Television in the early 1960s performing a popular song of the time.

A screen capture of the now notorious social media posting. Photo manipulation and detection experts at the Threadbone Photo Digi-Labs are examining images like this even as we write in the hope of establishing their non-authenticity

Insisting that the footage was "nothing but a tawdry fake designed to traduce the reputation of a distinguished culinary bio-ethicist and undermine confidence in the several multi-national enterprises now reliant upon his good name and reputation", lawyers for the Threadbone Corporation, Messrs Threadbone, Threadbone and Threadbone promised swift and decisive legal action. "We cannot stand idly by as the hard-won and much-deserved reputation of a great man is thrown to the lions, ridiculed in the court of public opinion and mercilessly lampooned for no reason other than commercial and political gain", Mr Joshua Threadbone added. "Is it a coincidence that local DHRA elections are just around the corner? I think not." Asked to explain this last remark, Mr Threadbone declined, saying only that "Time will tell what impact this has on the polls".

Conspiracy theorists are already hitting the digi-air-waves with theories as to why the video might have been made, why it might have been posted and what - if any - significance the timing of its release may hold. Few, if any, seem to be regarding it as an innocent joke, rather it is widely held to be a sinister attempt to undermine the very foundations of any post-CONTRIK-69 settlement by resort to what the RDC are describing as "the foulest and most discredited means".

A senior spokesperson for the RSCBE - Mr Labbe Wratte - later told journalists that "sustained attacks on a dead man who cannot answer back are cowardly, unfair and deeply upsetting" before hastily adding, "not that Professor Thrupiece is dead of course, simply absent presumed missing. My point was a more generic one".

Our Media Analyst Medea Ann Alys writes:

"Whilst it is to be expected that those organisations and individuals closest to Professor Thrupiece and with the most to lose should his reputation for probity, decorum and good judgment be torn to shreds in this way, the collective institutional hysteria hints at a deeper and as yet untold story. Could it be that the videotapes are not fakes at all, but footage of an event that happened but that the powers that be at the time managed to suppress? In the early 1960s, Professor Thrupiece was heavily involved in both the space programmes of both the US and USSR and it is not inconceivable that both were concerned that the integrity of their programmes might be undermined by their "poster boy" astronaut/cosmonaut seeming to act in such a frivolous and irresponsible way. Let us not forget that the stakes were very high here: nothing less than the competing nationalist claims to the ownership of outer space and the world domination that implied. Neither the US nor the USSR governments could afford to squander that potential inheritance on the basis of an unfortunate studio-based incident and the likelihood is that the secret services of either or both countries deployed their darkest arts to "make the Thrupiece tapes go away". It is surely no coincidence that DHRA elections were just around the corner and the reek of assassination in the air. Just a thought, but a troubling one nonetheless".


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