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Lost for Words?

Updated: Apr 20, 2022

Whether an opportunistic attempt to capitalise yet further on the unwavering popularity of its Professor Thrupiece brand, or an effort to create a smokescreen in light of its failure to acquire the Mavrel Superhero Comic franchise [and thereby complete the "set" of superheroes from which the Mavrel series was, significantly, minus only Professor Thrupiece] or, more likely still, a cynical ploy to piggyback on the success of the recent smash-hit film Invertibrateman: The Spineless Wonder, the Threadbone Press's release of a novelty Professor Thrupiece Write Your Own Captions Comic Book has certainly succeeded in capturing the public imagination. [If nothing else. [Ed]]

Each and every edition of the Professor Thrupiece Write Your Own Captions Comic Book contains high quality graphics of the kind discerning customers have come to expect of the Threadbone Press.

Threadbone Comic Books' Managing Director and Dorset Annual Wordsmith County Champion - Lex Ikog-Rapha - explains that - rather like the once popular "bake-at-home" Threadbone Ready-Made Pastry Rolls [responsible according to DoSPA [The Dorset Association for the Prevention of Accidents] for more than 48% of all reportable home baking incidents] - purchasers can take home an almost complete [literary] product - from which the hard grind has been removed - and fashion a complete masterpiece with minimum input and relatively little effort. For this reason, he believes there is a ready market for the incomplete comic books series, largely made up of men and women [and non-gender identifying or gender-fluid individuals [Ed]] who yearn to be published authors but do not have the talent to draw, plan or string more than two sentences together let alone conceive of fashioning an entire side of A4 .

"If you are a frustrated author who has worked out that turning a simple [ie pathetic] idea into a smash hit children's book requires only the aid of a talented, but underpaid, undervalued and hardly credited illustrator together with a vocabulary of only ten words of your own, then the novelty Professor Thrupiece Write Your Own Captions Comic Book, might be just what you are looking for", Mr Ikog-Rapha added.

Threadbone rivals, Mavrel Superhero Comics Inc has an enviable reputation for high quality, hard-bitten noir comic book novels. The Threadbone Press's failure to acquire its catalogue may lie behind its new "novelty" initiative.

Each edition will take the hard work out of comic book writing by supplying pre-drawn images which lack only a few lines of text for the pre-configured speech bubbles meaning that purchasers only have to put a few different thoughts into the minds and mouths of [a] multi-talented superhero Professor Thrupiece* and [b] kick-ass but stylish sidekick Shelley-Lilette Sizemore.

* well-known in his lifetime as a scientist, inventor, academic, educator, philosopher, author, painter, photographer, sculptor, architect, composer, diplomat, space-traveller, multi-genre sportsman and world-class horizontal jogger, to name but fifteen of his many talents [Ed].

The first issue of the new edition is expected to sell several copies, some of which will become collectors items as the rest are systematically destroyed by less than adroit would-be authors

Professor Thrupiece Write Your Own Captions Comic Books are available on an individual as well as a [suprisingly convenient if rather expensive] subscrition basis. Orders can be placed through your local branch of Edna's or direct from the publisher: The Threadbone Press. [Enquiries should be addressed on a postcard to: The Subscriptions Department, Amanda J Threadbone House, Edna Whisky-McNightly Boulevard, Great Heaving, Dorset]

Subscribers to can obtain a free sample of the first issue of the much sought-after Comic Book via the Threadbone Press's worldwide interweb digi-portal courtesy of our sponsors, TIPALDPA [The Threadbone Institute for the Promotion of Adult Literacy and the Discouragement of Pornographic Magazines]. Just click HERE.

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