Make Someone 'Appy
Mobile telephone giant Threadbone Narrowband Dialup have launched a new app un an effort to make their customers a little happier and perhaps a tad less frustrated with the sub-standard service they have become used to receiving. The once dominant but more recently marginalised provider has struggled to keep its subscribers happy in the face of increasing competition from more technologically savvy operators as well as much better value-for-money alternatives. [In a recent edition of Dorset WHICH, Threadbone Narrowband Dialup was ranked 12th of the 13 providers tested. Only Dewlish Telecom's 0.5G service fared worse.]
Rebranding under the NA-SpeakSpeak-O4 label [the NA stands, apparently, for Nothing Anywhere], parent company Threadbone Communications International Inc hopes to reboot both its image and its profits with a new 12Mbs 2.5G service designed for the man and woman on the go who doesn't mind interrupted calls, signal drop-outs and isn't a heavy data user*. Packages start from £90 per month in rural signal blackspot areas, rising to £120 per month in urban areas where the company has a mast and its 2.5G signal is at its strongest.
* In a recent survey a surprising 70% of males said they welcomed a drop-out especially when "talking to the wife" and even more so when "talking to the wife in the company of an individual other than the one they had claimed they were going to be meeting".
The telecommunications giant knows, however, that improving its technology is, by no means, the whole story. Research undertaken on the company's behalf by Threadbone Consumer Research has convinced NA-SpeakSpeak-O4 that, with an average user age of 76, its target demographic struggles more with pressing the right buttons to make a telephone call and finding the phone in their pockets/handbag when they receive one than it does with internet speeds and video buffering. [62% of those polled did not know it was even possible to insert a VHS tape into a mobile phone.]
So to help the struggling silver-dialer to make the most of its 12Mbs service, the Company has designed a mobile techno-help App which it hopes customers will download in order to make keeping in contact with friends, family and loved-ones as user-friendly as possible.
"We are aware that confidence is key to using modern technology", an NA-SpeakSpeak-O4 spokesperson said today; "and that's often is short supply amongst the elderly". "What they need, more often than not is a reassuring figure standing by their shoulder as it were, helping them along. We believe we have found the perfect companion avatar in our new cyber-geek professor. A symbol of probity and technical excellence and, at the same time, a familiar and non-threatening persona, we think he will be the perfect "walking companion" for those struggling to dial."
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