Online, On Message But Still Off-colour?

Social media platform Shita [Speedy Hub-based Information Transfer App] has found itself accused in "the court of public opinion" of turning a blind eye to online abuse after it refused either to condemn or remove a "shite" sent by one of its subscribers to an unnamed "vulnerable mature Dorset woman". The "shite" [which is generally more substantial than a "tweet"] was sent by someone calling him-, her- or ze- self "Boy Scout" and received by the woman in question on Friday evening last week. It is said to have caused "upset, unhappiness and possibly brain damage".

Shita has come under increasing scrutiny in recent weeks as the number of reported online abuse cases has risen due, it is believed, to the exponential rise in boredom during the CONTRIK-69 pandemic. More than 10 reports have been received by DOFCOM in the last six months including one which called a Durweston prize winning Dorset Nob eating champion "a nob gobbler"*.

* Our Food and Beverages Correspondent Byta Eete writes: A much prized delicacy characteristic of the region, the Dorset nob is a crispy, roll-shaped, dry savoury biscuit often eaten with chutney and cheese alike. It can also be dipped in soup or simply spread with butter. It is now baked by a single producer [Threadbone Heavy Chemicals Ltd], for a limited period during the year. The Dorset knob has become so sacred to the region there is even a Dorset Knob-throwing festival including knob eating, painting competitions and several races.

An example of the kind of abuse which Shita critics have said the company makes no effort to police or control. Whether this is the actual text sent to the vulnerable Dorset woman is unclear.

No further details regarding the target for last Friday's abuse have been released, though the 70 something-year-old is believed to be well-known in the community. A friend of the woman said she was "almost certain" she was being comforted by a younger man who had a strong - possibly Iberian - accent.

A spokesperson for the social media platform - which is part-owned by internet service provider Threadbone Narrow-band Dialup - said in a considered statement today: "all this nonsense about abuse is getting ridiculous. A man can't call another man a f**k-wad shirt-lifting fat-arsed wanker without someone squealing off-side. It's time these pathetic snowflakes got a life and just f**ked off back to the impoverished single-parent social-security dependent flop-houses where they belong. And as for the court of public opinion - well they can go f**k themselves too - arseholes".