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Pastie's Sell-by Date

Updated: Aug 7, 2019


Once the envy of the Baked-Goods world, Threads two decades of expansion is threatened by changing tastes and, experts say, education.
Once the envy of the Baked-Goods world, Threads two decades of expansion is threatened by changing tastes and, experts say, education.

North East Dorset's most successful pie manufacturer - Threads - was said to be in trouble today as sales of its Dorset Pasties fell following evidence that the lamb, spinach and marmalade confection was "losing favour" with the public. Based in Nettlecombe, Threads has been a familiar feature of the High Street, motorway service station and local Threadbone's or Waitaminute Hyper-market since 1929.


"This is no way to celebrate our 90th Anniversary", spokesperson Ivor Sparetyre said, "it's very galling of the public to turn against us just when we are about to celebrate our 3 millionth pastie". Asked whether the pasties were victims of modern food snobbery, Mr Sparetyre was not sure. "I'm not sure he said".


All the evidence suggests that a combination of modern living, food faddishness and lacklustre PR is responsible for the sharp decline in interest in the once supreme Dorset comestible, though nutritionist Vita Min-Aye, thinks there's more to it. "I think

Happier Days: Contestants in a Threads pie eating contest in the 1930s.  Night starvation was a social curse amongst growing adolescents and - as a result - when competitions like this were held, not a crumb was left
Happier Days: Contestants in a Threads pie eating contest in the 1930s. Night starvation was a social curse amongst growing adolescents and - as a result - when competitions like this were held, not a crumb was left

there's more to it", she said, "the traditional Dorset Pasty is a combination of meat, vegetable and preserved sugary fruit; everything a working man needed in 1928. Now it's very different - the modern executive is looking for a very special - you might say designer - kind of lunch - preferably something chic, up-to-the-minute. possibly organic or at least pro-biotic served somewhere he take his secretary for a good time with, after a hint of fusion, the added option of afters. My boss took me to a place like that once and I've never looked back - now I'm a nutritionist advising high value clients on where to take their secretaries for lunch".


Meanwhile Threads continues to dominate the market in other baked goods: particularly good sellers include Sexagessima Sunday Festive Bakes, Small Songbird Pies, Blue Vinney and Dorset Leek Puddings and - of course - traditional Dorset Nobs.

 
 
 

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The Threadbone Corporation (AJTCorps)

The Mall

Great Heaving

West Lulworth, UK

Tel: +44 (0)1929 400000

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DISCLAIMER: Though it will be perfectly obvious that the absurd world of Professor Thrupiece and his corporate affairs is no more nor less than the product of a fevered brain, it is clearly affirmed here that any resemblance to actual persons, organisations or events is purely coincidental and that no slight or injury of any kind is intended to any person alive, dead or yet to be born.

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