Reaching For The Top [Shelf]


Organ-builder and self-taught pipe cleaner Peter Perverte is a regular contributor to the Magazine's historic organs section.

Obscure Dorset Magazines: Being an occasional series in which a member of our editorial team brings to the general public's attention a specialist magazine, the availability of which which may have escaped readers thus far.


#273 Dorset Breasts and Church Organs Magazine recommended by Joy Pipes.


Relaunched in 2011, as Dorset Breasts and Church Organs Magazine, today's featured organ [geddit!] is the result of a fortuitous marriage between Threadbone Magazines' long-established Unique Dorset Organs Magazine and one-time rival publishing house Poxwell Softporn's The Breast Enthusiast Monthly Pictorial. Shortly after the latter's take-over by the former, editorial genius Acqui Zitionè realised that there was a natural [and exploitable] synergy to be found between those with an interest in the edgy goings-on typical of the dark and dank corners of our local parish church lofts and those with an interest in church organs. Out of this imaginative conjunction was born one of the industry's first examples of genre [con]fusion and a magazine as popular today as it was in 2011.


Sporadic attempts to divide and re-re-launch the Magazine for what anecdotal evidence suggests might be two completely different readership demographics have been consistently resisted by Threadbone Corporation accountants who firmly believe that interest in the DB&CO Magazine's more erotic content [even amongst fully-paid-up Dorset Royal College of Organist members] may be more responsible for sustained sales than interest in "the whys and wherefores of registrations, pipe-geometry and pedal couplings" alone. As one senior hack put it. "Nothing so enhances an organ as the sight of a naked maiden placed before it".


July's alternative cover - aimed at those unable to reach the top shelf.

In any event, as DB&CO Magazine enters its 11th year of publication, its status as a top shelf favourite seems absolutely assured. As avid subscriber Onan Isem puts it. "I still can't tell a Cavaillé-Coll from a Gottfried Silbermann at ten paces but I know a decent pair of knockers when I see one - and for me that's the value of the education magazines like Dorset Breasts and Church Organs bring to the table. It's absolutely invaluable that is". [The Magazine sells for £14.99.]


Parents of younger males with a fledgling interest in organs and their capabilities might like to know that a junior version of the Magazine is now available with slightly modified content. "At that stage it's less about refining technique than improving basic recognition, so the junior edition has slightly more and rather bigger boobs".

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