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Relief All Round

A tired but visibly relieved spokesperson for emerged from the latest round of discussions with threadbonemedia - service providers for the site's worldwide interweb platform - with the happy news that the popular site - which had been under existential threat - was now safe "for the time being at least". This will come as welcome news to the tens of people who have noticed an uncharacteristic interruption to the stream of drivel emanating from the Great Heaving-based digi-portal over the last few weeks and months.

The two parties were for a long time "worlds apart" in their evaluation of the site's worth and the charges which should be levied to keep it active. threadbonemedia were, allegedly, asking for a figure in the region of £250,000 per annum. Arguing that the website's footprint was "smaller than that of a vertically-challenged vole", lawyers for suggested instead a figure in the region of £1.50 a month. It is understood that a compromise figure - somewhere between the two - was agreed after discussion lasting more than 3 months and culminating in yesterday's 36 hour lawyerthon. The "frozen" site was immediately re-activated on news of the overnight breakthrough.

Sid and Doris Bartlett who, friends say, rarely go out and have little contact with the real world, were typical of those who were celebrating this morning. "We got up, relieved ourselves [separately not, of course, together], made breakfast and switched on the tv. We were surprised to see the news; especially since neither of us had noticed there was an issue. Apparently Philip Schofield is on holiday. We don't get out much".

Artist's impression of the tense negotiations at the Alton St Pancras Chamber of Justice

The market reacted favourably to the agreement with shares in both threadbonemedia and surging this morning; at one point they reached 0.012p and 0.0013p respectively, before falling back sharply to 0.010p and 0.0012p.


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