Subliminal Attractions

Visitors to the beautiful Dorset Coast will all have special memories of their own favourite places: spots that stay long in the memory for a whole variety of reasons. Whether matters of geography, topography, aesthetic appeal, or [less analytically] of romantic association, fond recall or straightforward memorability, special places are special simply because they are special or at least special enough to remain. special in the imagination and memory! Enough said!


Or maybe not.


Pennis Cove frequently features in the Threadbone Press's Unique Dorset Places Magazine's Annual Calendar. The 2022 edition was no exception.

Pennis Cove is an interesting example of a part of the Dorset coastline, whose popularity transcends individual preference and takes us instead into the realm of collective esteem and broad public approval; and, as always, the interesting question is why is this so?


It is certainly true to say that the area has been widely promoted - and only recently described as “the best place to live in Dorset, almost certainly in England and, quite possibly, in the world". The steep rise in the price of real estate [not to mention foi gras sliders in the local Threadbone Lounge] further attests to its desirability, [as well as its exclusivity "which never hurts"]; whilst the accolade of “jewel of the South Coast”: [Jewels of the South Coast Monthly, February 2022] simply certifies something which has long been firmly pre-supposed and is now simply “a matter of fact”. [Dorset Monthly Fact Checker Magazine, January 2022].


It probably helps that several of Dorset’s most famous celebrities have a strong association with Pennis Cove either by birth or by adoption . Movie actress Marylin Beta-Holmes was born in nearby Glans and she and husband Michael Dougal-Arsce have a summer residence here; whilst only recently Mrs Amanda J Threadbone was spotted viewing a property in Ballocks [the most exclusive part of the resort] - one of two gnarly but attractive appendages suspended to just to the south of Pennis proper.

So is it the affirmation provided by the choices of the rich and famous which makes Pennis Cove so desirable and so memorable when it comes to the public perception or is it something more historical, more anthropological, perhaps more protean at work?


The University of Afpuddle’s Professor of Associative Learning - Professor Puttu-Antu Toegather - believes that much of the resort’s almost mystical - he prefers the term “primordial” - appeal may lie in its name and, in turn, the very origins of its name. Derived from the French Pénis Courbe [literally Penis Curve], its Dorset corruption into Pennis Cove may retain some of the original subliminal messages all of which - almost literally - scream attraction to anyone who recognises what those early Norman visitors must have noted: that the promontory of which the resort is situated - a long thin extension lying between two rocky promontories - resembles an anatomical feature of transcendent significance to the entire human race. Could it be that Pennis Cove simply calls to the nascent cave-woman inside all of us*


* Is this a gender specific assertion or can we all join in [Social Ed]


Be all this as it may, Pennis Cove looks set to remain an object of desire for many years to come: a place of real interest even on a Wet February day when, snuggled up in an anti-CONTRIK-69 dining pod in the luxurious Threadbone Lounge, thoughts of our priapic ancestors could not be further from our more civilized minds. "Make that a double Claude ... and don't spare the olives".

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