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The Key To A Good Lock-Down

Updated: Mar 24, 2020

In the hope of cheering up the general reading public [ie, 8% of the total population], The Threadbone Press has decided, in collaboration with quality High Street book retailer Threadstones, to launch a series of reprints under the banner of the CONTRIK-69 Read-It-in-Isolation Lock-Down Library, Aimed to distract those capable of distraction, the first 12 titles will be published over the next two weeks and will be offered at a special price.

Author E S Collater's Don't Go Down Those Stairs is the first in the series which according to some critics starts "with a whimper rather than a bang".

Downloading of the [marginally more expensive] digital edition will be encouraged in order to avoid panic buying as well as unnecessary social intercourse at [soon to be closed] bookshops and each book will come with clear instructions on how to read it safely whilst also practising social distancing [anything from one metre up to and including complete self-isolation]. In a further innovation aimed at maintaining bio-security, each volume will come with a wipe-down cover and a free rubber band to be used in the event that, for whatever reason, a complete page lock-down is required. An inbuilt micros-chip will prevent any of the books being read by a second person and, in this way, prevent any micro-biotic transmission as well as discourage any lending, borrowing or re-sale. A Threadbone Press technician said today that the chip, which was already being prepared for roll-out for "other reasons" had been fast-tracked in light of evidence that the current pandemic was encouraging people to share resources in a way that was "not necessarily unsafe in the epidemiological sense", but was nevertheless "ultimately commercially-damaging and so not to be encouraged". Other publishers are expected to follow suit.

First in the series: a reprint of the never popular Don't Go Down Those Stairs by E S Collater

The complete Read-It-in-Isolation Lock-Down Library Kit: Book, plastic wrap and retaining "lock-down" band

Launching the series today, Threadbone Press CEO who is personally self-isolating with companion Enrique de Los Chicos Perdidos on a small privately-owned yacht off the Dorset coast said, via satellite link, that she hoped the inexpensive and highly readable volumes drawn from the Press's extensive back catalogue, would bring comfort and enjoyment to dozens otherwise doomed to a life of nerve-jangling tedium and/or anxiety trapped in the company of family and - in some cases - loved ones as well. "At this difficult time for families, when ignoring each other is becoming increasingly difficult, we feel we must do whatever we can to alleviate the suffering of thousands of people who, through no fault of their own, are waking up this morning to relatives that have barely noticed for years. This is hitting the most emotionally vulnerable very hard and we stand ready to furnish all who can read [with or without the use of a finger] with the tools necessary to build that emotional isolation chamber which a good read represents".

First to be released is E S Collater's Don't Go Down Those Stairs - a title originally first published some years ago but now repackaged in the hope that it will not "disappear without trace" as it did on its first appearance.




crimeshelf flipbook edition available HERE

also available from the orinoco store HERE

Threadbone Crimeshelf website HERE

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