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Writer's pictureProfessor Brian Thrupiece

Then and Now #12


One of the main problems with a longterm, on-going, horizon-shrinking, socially-distanced, locked-down, bio-secure, bubble-defined existence is, many psychologists believe, the high probability that those experiencing it will lose perspective and with it, all possible hope. "Day-upon-day of self-isolated aniseed-ball deprived confinement has a slow but insistently wearing effect", University of Afpuddle Postgraduate Supernumerary Non-stipendiary Research Professor Sir Plusse Overstaff says, "and in such circumstances it is all too easy to conclude that nothing is changing and that progress has slowed to a complete halt. Unremitting tedium, lack of human contact and a concentrated diet of CONTRIK-69 related gloom via the official news channels can lead to a sense of hopelessness, helplessness and anomié, so it is important that people are occasionally reminded of the progress we, as a socio-economic factoid continue to make". [Sub-Editor's Note: Professor Overstaff was not paid for this opinion and it remains very much his own.] [Editor's Note: Good to hear, given it's a load of crap and worthless.]


Great Heaving in 1940 [ABOVE] and 2020 [BELOW]. Some say little has changed, though closer observervation suggests that goats are healthier and larger - if not more numerous. One thing both photographs, taken together, underline, is that lockdown [aka house arrest] is not a new invention. Wartime brought its own emergency measures.

So in a spirit of eternal optimism and in the hope of a decisive county-wide mood lifting breakthrough, we publish two photographs that emphasise the enormous strides we have made here in the beautiful county of Dorset over the last 70 years. And where better to focus than on the thriving science, business, enterprise and arts complex of Great Heaving - once a sleepy little terminus next to a backward and undeveloped coastline but now the beating heart and vibrant nerve centres of the triple multinational conglomerates that comprise the thrupiece organisation, the Threadbone Corporation and the Hornimint Company.


A mere glance at these two images - taken a mere 70 years apart - will surely gladden the heart of even the most jaded sufferer [with or without underlying medical conditions] and offer evidence, were it needed, of the immense strides we have taken to improve our economy, our health, our environment and our collective well-being [up to, but not necessarily including, the current down-the-pan-demic]. Where once there was mere reflective solitude and self-satisfied rural isolationism, now there is a thrusting enterprise culture of which all can be justly proud. Temporarily mothballed the Great Heaving complex may be, but when the dust-sheets come off and the summoning shift-whistle calls all back to their places of toil, the heartwarming beat of money-making will again be abroad in the land and the steady march of progress will become concrete [literally] once more, all over our beloved homeland. [The concluding peroration to this communication was commissioned and sponsored by The Great Heaving Development Corporation, Chair [for Life] Mrs Amanda J Threadbone.]


Interesting factoid # 4


5 out of every 10 psychologists [or approximately 50%] say Monday is an ideal day for delivering a good news message. The other 48% disagree and think psychologists could be better mathema


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