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Too Little ... Too Late

Having concluded his enquiries into the non-timely appearance of the Threadbone Corporation's Christmas Message and having reported directly to CEO, CFO, Board Chair and President -for-Life Mrs Amanda J Threadbone, Dorset Royal Constabulary Chief, Sir Rising Crimewave has de-seconded himself from the Great Heaving enquiry and returned to his normal Chief Constabulary duties, thereby leaving others to "mop up" and determine appropriately the exact punishment to be meted out to culpable employee Joyce Skäpe-Ghote. It is understood that Ms Skäpe-Ghote will be vacating her desk on the 26th floor of Threadbone HQ later today. She was seen leaving the building this morning carrying a small box containing personal effects and sporting an unidentified book down the back of her trousers. Observers were not sure whether her expression could be best described as a smirk or a wince.

Meanwhile in a parallel development and in what is being widely-viewed as an attempt to emphasise that "a page has been turned" and "a new chapter begun", the Corporation's Annual New Year's message appeared "on time and on budget" at precisely 00.00.01 hours today.

Commissioned from celebrity niche designers Charles and Maurice MacPro, Mrs Threadbone's personally-signed message is said to be a one of simplicity and clarity emphasising both continuity and change whilst remaining both modern and traditional. It was, said the design studio, "an absolute steal", for a mere £75,000 fee - quite possibly the "design bargain of the year so far".

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