Treading In Your Own Doings

Pop-up sculptor Sandy Beach with one of his earlier creations. The normally mild-mannered sculptor was stretched to breaking point yesterday through his own folly.

Pop-up sculptor Sandy Beach was left fuming today when, only moments after completing his latest masterpiece, he tripped and placed a size 11 flipflop squarely in the middle of the work doing "significant damage" in the process.

"Turtle on the Beach" had been intended to be the artist's contribution to Greek National Cocktails Day representing the famous Zakynthos cocktail Turtle on the Beach. He had earlier declined a request to sculpt Sex with An Alligator, insisting he was a family entertainer during daylight hours. Turtle on a Beach was "as far as I am prepared to go", he said.

Sandy Beach's latest work hasn't stood the test of his own foot let alone that of time.

Mr Beach later apologised to several families whose children had been "shocked and traumatised" by the artist's post eventum rant in which sand, flipflops, God, and two specific parts of the female anatomy had featured. The local police [τοπική αστυνομία] confirmed in a statement that "έχει ζητήσει συγγνώμη και δεν χρειάζονται περαιτέρω έρευνες" ["échei zitísei syngnómi kai den chreiázontai peraitéro érevnes"] *.

*he has apologised and no further enquiries are necessary.

"I lost it for a while back there", he said, "You have no f****g idea how hard it is to make these things and then watch the f*****g sea wash them away or, worse, some wasted c**t trample all over them. When you do it yourself ... well... it's pretty much the definition of Greek tragedy."